Sep 6, 2011

Not Guilty

A little while after I posted I Should Have Kissed You, I got the following three submissions in my Formspring.

1. Heartless Much?
2. How can you make a kiss so complicated?
3. You should have kissed him. Why didn't you?


I agree it was just a kiss. But it was just a kiss for me. For Josh it was clearly something alot more than just a kiss. I did want to kiss him. But if I had and felt nothing out of it and then broken up, Josh may have felt used. Or there was the a worse possibility of that he may have felt lead on to believe something that doesn't exist.

Also given that we were going to his house and I was quite obviously turned on by him, it would not have been just a kiss. There would have been some definite stripping and quite possibly some groping as well. Two young hot blooded guys who are attracted to each other present under the same roof all by themselves, things are not only bound but destined to happen. Like they say, sparks fly!

When it comes to dating business in the unfortunate case that it doesn't work out, it's quite understood that one side would eventually get hurt. It's a cruel reality but one has to accept it. Sometimes you are rejected. Sometimes you reject. Either case I didn't reject him. I just wasn't ready to kiss him yet. If he would have waited maybe something would have happened. But he's the one who stopped talking and cut me off. Not that I'm saying he's the at fault here. I know I did some very stupid things here, but I stopped myself in time from causing some serious damage.

On a brighter note, I did text message him 'Eid Mubarak' late night last Thursday and for once got a reply from him - with a smiley face. I replied to his text message with an apology to which he didn't reply. Not mad at him, even I would have not known what to reply if I was in his shoes. I can most honestly say that right now I do not feel anything for him except maybe a sense of concern. I wish him the best and that's all.

It's like the six merry murderesses of the Crookem Country Jail said - it was a murder but not a crime.

6 comments:

M@rvin said...

"He ran into my knife - 10 times!" LOL!

Secret Admirer said...

Phunk dear, it is really hard to get a guy that atleast qualifies to be your boyfriend.
I am not saying you should compromise but dont ruin it over pity misunderstandings.
I agree that it might not have ended with just a kiss, but you should have atleast kissed him in car instead of rushing out as if he was making you do a terrible thing, after all you are the one who completed his sentence and agreed to go to his house then why dump him on the way....

As someone pointed out you think too much, more than enough for both of you.
And why do you have to think for him...he is old and mature enough to make his decisions..
Have you ever discussed your views with him the same way you describe them here, you are convincing here, then why is it not working there..?
some day if he gets to see this blog...I am sure he would understand.
"When it comes to dating....... eventually get hurt."
thats not even a reason, it is true for everyone...that is something that needs to be thought before dating not while dating...
What happened now isn't serious damage enough..
atleast in break up, both have proper reasons..in your case you so wanna play the martyr; eventually making him the bad guy..
You dint want the kiss to be so significant, but it turns out that it became significant after all even though it never happened..

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

I seriously don't know why everyone finds that part funny...cuz i don't!

Maybe there is something wrong with my humor :(

@ Secret Admirer

I've been thinking...his exams have just ended so i may go back...bt i don't know...it seems wrong to pick up the pieces when I was the one who broke it up with the 'no kiss yet' detail! :p

N yeah...i gotta quiet that inner vagina of mine! :p

LOL!

Thanks fr ur words, buddy!

Old Bugger!! said...

Oh Man... Look at you... Seriously... Look at you!! What has happened to you?

Where is the Phunk I knew? Playing with someone's feelings just to feel wanted & desired? I am appalled by this "new" Phunk! Get a grip ON YOURSELF my dear friend!

Anonymous said...

Kidhar ho mere bhai, jaldi wapas aajawo

Phunk Factor said...

@ Old Bugger!!

That's not how it happened...you clearly have skipped out a few portions of my post!

@ Anonymous

I'm back =D

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