Aug 17, 2011


It's over between Josh and me. I am not exactly sure how it happened, why it happened or even if it has actually happened. It is like I have a hangover from a party that I didn't even go to. It is also so frigg'in confusing and mixed up. Also the fact that I have just one side of the story - my side, so I can't put the entire puzzle together. I'll try to the best of my abilities to channel it here in the next few posts. It's all too big to put down in one post.

Also let me add that I am not depressed or anything synonymous to it. I would say that I am a little pissed but I am definitely not depressed over what has happened. It is absolutely nothing like it went down with Nathan (Read here and here), which makes me think that maybe it happened for the best. Maybe I didn't love him, but simply liked him and moved too fast. He deserves someone who loves him and doesn't second guess that feeling at all for even a second. I was not that person. I could have been that person had he given some time but I am not thinking about it. I am not mad at Josh. Well perhaps just a little! =P

Remember how I mentioned in the first paragraph that I am not sure if it has happened, so let me explain that to you now. Josh has not been responding to my text messages or Facebook messages. He does not pick up my calls but let's it ring. This has been going on since August 8th. He had his first exam yesterday so that would be a logical explanation, exam do raise the stress level and one tends to be annoyed by petty distractions. However when you have enough time to change your Facebook display picture you can definitely hit me back with a text message saying that you're okay. He didn't even congratulate me on clearing my exams( YAY me!! ). My gay pals congratulated me as soon as they heard the news. It made me think my importance in his world. How frigg'in inconsiderate can you be?!

Josh has behaved in a similar manner sometime back in April or May. At that time I was more concerned than pissed. Maybe he will text me after his exams but it doesn't matter to me any more. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!

I can't be with someone who can shut me out so easily. So this time I'm going my own way, and for once I'm happy beyond words. I really am! I was relieved and a little sad when things with Bruce ended but this time I am positively gleeful. See me smile!

I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him really bad but after four solid days of silence that you could touch I have backed off. If he returns after his exams, I will not get back on this train. It's not that I hate him. I really don't. I would admit that I would like an explanation for his behavior. But I am no longer angry at him. See my smile above! ;)

A friend of mine theorizes that I got dumped. The more I thought about it, I would say that he is indeed right. Josh did dump me!

However I am still not sad. He didn't consider me the right choice, I wasn't ready to be his choice either. Like I said earlier, perhaps it worked out in the best fashion for both of us. I am back to being single, and no matter how much do I want or try to get committed Karma does not wish the same for me. Therefore I shall wait, but I can have a little fun while I am waiting. Hahaha - that too would be covered in coming posts.

Hope everybody is having a wonderful time!


ignious said...

You're right when you say that its only your version of the story ... we/you don't know his.

And he IS there on FB ... you said he isn't...Liar Liar!!! :(

Mind Of Mine said...

How long had you been going out?

Phunk Factor said...

@ Ignious

If he was I won't tell u till u tell me urz! =P

And I KNOW u hav him on Facebook...u don't! ;)


@ Mind of Mine

Ummm...i would say three or four. We met three time...first in June and then twice in we didn't make out ever! =P

Mind Of Mine said...

So you have only met three times, where you really that emotionally involved considering you had very little face to face interaction with him.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Mind of Mine

I knew him since March...i had to ask him out three times before he said 'yes'. We met in June...unless I count that quick meeting when he dropped by to say 'Hi' in the beginning of July!

We met first in June...then i had my exams in July...we met twice after that before Ramadan started and everything got crazy busy!

Like I said in the post..i liked him I didn't love him! However given how perfect we were on paper..i was interested in seeing this go further before he started giving me the cold shoulder! :p

DeepBlue said...

I don't think he dumped you! You hadn't really started anything. It has been confusing from the beginning like you said. Whenever you feel like your walking on eggs, it means something is wrong. Better clear it out right away even if it means loosing something you long for!
Life is short... we shouldn't waste any time.
Take care.

p.s. I'm learning in this post that you did well with your exams. Congratulations! :)

Andrea Almanza said...

Glad to see u smile :) Now go have some single fun! Your worth more than a silent death :*

Hadi Hussain said...

Phunko munko *hugs* n u dnt need to explain any HOW or WHEN. Lets welcome your emotional singlehood

Phunk Factor said...

@ DeepBlue

Hahaha...i guess that's how it is with us 'young people'...burn bright, fizzle shortly!

N thanks fr the congrats! :)

@ Andrea Almanza

Awww...that last sentence stol my heart! Kisses to u too, sweetie!

@ Hadi Hussain

Oh please...assemble ur Lahori harem fr me. Only they can take away the hole that's in my heart! ;)

simple girl..... said...

its great that you are smiling.. chillax and enjoy ..

Mike said...

1 sided stories suck- for someone like me who likes both sides of the story and closure.

Keep your head up ;-)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Simple girl

Yeah - that's what I plan to do!

@ Mike

Hahahaha...dude, in this case..i'd like to know his side of the story as well! :p

M@rvin said...

Phunks, from what I've heard about him, you deserve so much better! A guy that is actually there for you when you need him. *Big hug* Glad to see you taking this so well, even though it's hard for you to get closure without his side of the story. You'd think he at least owes you an explanation! Boys today, hmpf.

Tanan said...

Awwwww "Hugs"
And yeah you're right.Drop the guy the moment you think you're second guessing or he is second guessing.Everyone deserves to be pursued with whole heart.If not then you're trying for something that isn't there in the first place.To love and to be loved.
And seriously I don't care about his side of story.If guy ignores your call,texts,messages for a whole week,then the msg is pretty clear.

Aarob Khan said...

I am glad u arent 2 disappointd. n u deserve better than d way Josh is treating u. send him a msg n giv him a piece of u! no one messes wid d Phunkster!

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

Everyone keeps saying that...perhaps it is true. I do deserve better....and while we are at the topic of me deserving better - when r u coming fr me? ;)

@ Tanan

Hugs to u too, bro! :)

U don't i do. I'd like to know the reason just for the sake of knowing!

@ Aaron Khan

U can mess with me netime! :p

Hahahaha....thanks, man! :)

jits said...

Dating is a tricky and messy business aint it ? Its great that you are taking things in your stride. nyways congrats for clearing ur xams n im sure someone better is out there for you :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Jits

Yeah, is dirty dirty then we all love rolling in that muck! :p

Thanks fr ur wishes! :)

D@vid said...

I'm just reading your blog for the first time... and it sounds as though I went through a similar situation recently. Hope you find some closure... it's not easy.

thegayte-keeper said...

I wouldn't accept his behavior!

Phunk Factor said...

@ D@vid

I already hav...which is surprising even for me!

@ thegayte-keeper

Hahaha...yeah, bt u gotta be abit patient with these wild young hearts...however there is a limit to everything

Secret Admirer said...

I feel sorry for the things happening with you...
I had my first break up during exams, I know how it must have felt...
Good to see you looking at in a positive way.. :)
God Bless you

Phunk Factor said...

@ Secret Admirer

Thanks, Sir/Babe/Buddy!

P.S. I really don't know how to address u - 'Buddy' seems the most appropriate to me!

What do u say?

Secret Admirer said...

Buddy is great..!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Secret Admirer

Fantastic, buddy! =D

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