Aug 13, 2011

Coming Out To Amanda - Pt. 2

I had big ass butterflies in my stomach that entire day. The previous night when I was lying on the bed, I promised myself that I would tell Amanda about myself the coming morning. However every time I would run into Amanda or was about to run into Amanda, my feet would do a double take and I would duck in to some corridor, lecture hall or ward. I knew if I didn't tell Amanda before the day got over, I'm going to be sick from self-disgust the same night.


Fortunately after my daily rotation I was standing outside the cafeteria where Amanda came up to order. "Hey! How are you?", she asked me.

"I'm good. You?", I asked. We started talking as usual, and I realized that while I did want to come out to her I didn't know how to steer the conversation to such a point when I could actually bring this up. I didn't have the guts to start talking about girls but my stomach kept tying itself into knots with every passing second. My replies and contributions to the conversation were sharp and short. It was like my mind was functioning somewhere else, and only my body was present in the college grounds.

"Do you trust me?", she asked.

"Ofcourse I do!", I told her. I did trust her. If I didn't, I would not be considering telling her about myself.

"I was talking to one of your friends earlier today. He told me that you do not trust anybody in this college, and that's why you haven't told anybody who you like!", she told me. She seemed hurt. "I told him that you really do not like anyone, even though I do not entirely believe it myself."

"Okay! Firstly thanks alot for sticking up for me!", I replied. "Secondly..", I began typing hastily into my cell phone. "Read this super quietly and please please please do not scream!", I told her sternly. My hands had gone cold and were shaking. I gave her my cell phone. She was totally confused, and I could read it on her face.

She took the cell phone. She has brown eyes but sometime likes to wear green contact lenses which make her eyes look bigger than they actually are, and even more so when she outlines them with mascara. Her already very wide eyes grew even more wide. It seemed that she was paused. She handed me the cell phone back, but didn't say anything. I thought I was going to loose her now.

"Since when?", she asked. "Since when have you known that your gay?", she repeated explaining her question.

"I realized it when I was sixteen, but I can date my earliest attraction towards guys when I was eight years old!", I told her quietly.

"So you have always liked guys?", she asked again.

"Yeah!", I replied.

"And there hasn't been a single girl who has roused interest in you?", she asked.

"I do like girls, but not like a straight guy does!", I told her. "If you are uncomfortable with me being gay, you can end our friendship." I told her. I would never force anyone into being in my company if they find my sexuality unsettling.

"Oh shut up. You are so much better than the straight guys I know!", she told me. I smiled a little at that compliment. "There was something different about you. But I never expected you to be gay.", she started babbling.

I laughed at her previous remark. "What was your opinion?", I asked her.

"Okay don't freak out, but I always thought you were secretly engaged since birth!", she confessed.

I started laughing uncontrollably. "Seriously?", I asked to confirm. "You seriously thought I was engaged?!"

"Yeah yeah whatever!", she grumbled. "Okay so now that I know your gay, who do you really like?", she asked me.

"Will you ever let go of this question?!", I responded. My body had started functioning normally again, it felt so good drinking soda. It was like a giant weight had been lifted off my body.

"Had you not told me, I would have eventually moved on. But now I'm so interested in knowing everything about you.", she said with the biggest ever smile on her face.


Good God! What have I done?

In the coming weeks I told Amanda everything that you all know about me, and some I haven't posted about here yet. She told me that I'm a 'Rachael Berry', which I will post about sometime else. 

12 comments:

simple girl..... said...

cool..

Secret Admirer said...

First of all good job! I am glad that it went so well...
You actly finished it in two posts....I thought there is gonna be whole season of you coming out to Amanda..:P
I am more interested in details of you coming out to your mom...You have given a word that you shall post it soon..
Still waiting...

Phunk Factor said...

@ Simple Girl

:D

@ Secret Admirer

Hahaha...you dog! Yes...another guy mentioned it a few days ago...there is only so much i can post at a time...and also the coming out to mom would be posted on www.phunkedforlife.blogspot.com

M@rvin said...

You typed it out? Nice! I should have thought of that... I sent emails to some friends LOL.

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

Hahaha....yeah! I thought if I got those very important words out, the rest of the conversation would be easier to handle! :)

I'm awesome! :D

Aaron Khan said...

Coming out 2 any1 requires alot of courage. u seem 2 b full of it :) glad it worked out well 4 ya.

Samuel Khan said...

Brave bOi ! :)
N u need not to b toLd dat u hav a way wid da words !
Luved readin it . . .

Andrea Almanza said...

Yay

Phunk Factor said...

@ Aaron Khan

Just need to get those 3 words out...after that i think i can handle things well enough on my own!

@ Samuel Khan

Hahahha...but u still tell me always! ;)

@ Andrea Almanza

Yay to u too :D

B. said...

Great! :D I'm glad she was okay with it ;)

Phunk Factor said...

@ B.

Totally

GayPornCum said...

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