May 4, 2011

Issues; Young & Unfabulous

I started dating a few months ago and I am extremely disappointed with the results. Everybody that I contact or contacts me wants to bang me. All of my friends have girlfriends and they all say it's great to have someone. I have been feeling very depressed lately and I think that's because I have not ever experienced being in love. I'm eighteen and extremely frustrated. Am I looking in the wrong place or is there something wrong with me?

No, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Everybody wants to feel loved and we all do search for someone to love at some point in our life. But I think at 18, your much too young to be in a relationship. Plus having a boyfriend opens the door to a whole different kind of problem. I do understand your desire to couple, however 18 is barely enough to get involved into something serious.

Your friends are straight. Their girlfriends are from the same school. In my opinion, it's not love but sort of a right place, right time kind of thing with them. Half of these couple won't survive by the time they graduate anyways. I'm not being sarcastic but telling you quite honestly from my experience. Another thing is that your friends being straight, you can never really discuss with them about how great it was to be out with your guy the past weekend. I would also not recommend you changing your boyfriend's sex for the sake of discussion. Firstly it would be a huge insult to him and secondly you might get so excited in telling your friends about your latest adventure that you may actually say 'He' or 'Him' by accident. A few slips like that and someone sharp enough in your surrounding may sniff out the truth.

Also consider this a friendly warning, anything below 19 years old in the Online world is generally perceived as a twink and the first thing about twinks is that they should be creamed. So do the maths - most guys would want to bang you no strings attached. Your best shot at something serious is with someone closer to your age and favorably with the similar experience.

Lastly love doesn't come by easy. Having already put myself out there and having read countless other people do so, I'm telling you that it takes a very long time to find something worthy. Your best bet would be to look for friends and if by chance you  come across someone you genuinely like then you take the chance. But even then it's a gamble. Plus this need of yours to have someone, a friend can fill that need just as much by being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen to. As my dear friend put it;

'Lovers come and go. Friends stay forever!' 

Your 18 and fabulous! I really don't think you need a boyfriend right now. At Eighteen, I used to make fun of my friends who were committed and I never failed to tick a few off. At 18, you are going through a very crucial career deciding part of your life. A boyfriend could provide a casual comfort or a disastrous distraction, 'cuz believe me - a boyfriend comes with it's own set of trials and tribulations. Think about it!


M@rvin said...

ROTFL @ "anything below 19 years old in the Online world is generally perceived as a twink and the first thing about twinks is that they should be creamed. So do the maths - most guys would want to bang you no strings attached."

My 2 cents: He should share some of that twinkie cream and have fun before he gets into anything serious. Unless he has exams or something... Boys come and go, a career lasts forever (sadly)!

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

At 18?! Errr no!

Seems too much too early, don't u think?

Aaron Khan said...

I knew it wasnt long b4 u strtd counselling :)

Andrea Almanza said...

18 to 25 is a difficult time. New resposibilities, experiances, school, career, and personality changes. The human mind is not even fully developed till 25, it is still making neural pathways. I agree, make friends for now. Also sometimes when we finally stop trying we are more relaxed and carefree. Then boom someone falls straight into your lap, probably because we dont come across as love hungry :D

Sam August said...

The whole loneliness thing takes over really badly at times, specially when you are gay and you cant really share much with siblings or even with frends. I have felt the same way too, and no boyfrend helped :P coming out to a trustworthy frend and knowing that He loves me as a frend helped me :D

Samuel Khan said...

Gay teenz iz most definitely not a gud phase in life ! But sumwhere up there God knew we had guts to pull it off with panache ! So that's why he burdened us with this gayhoOd thingy !
I haven't cum out to anyone yet n don't intend to but life being good or bad iz not dependent on havin a bf or nOt , its rather dependent upon the will to thrive ! *cheerz to being what we r ! :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Aaron Khan

My prime case is currently not in Karachi...but I'm looking fwd to the summer when I counsel him!

@ 18 yr old kid

Listen to these guys! Look at Sam August, Samuel Khan and Andrea Almanza's advice...if u ask me, they've put it much better!

Go for friends right now...boyfriends can happen anytime later on!

@ Andrea Almanza, Sam August n Samuel Khan

Thanks for the awesome valuable comments, guys! :)

DeepBlue said...

You're a quite wise young man Phunk!
18-25 is a very crucial period.
It's better to watch the world and learn than foolin' around all the time. Not that there's anything wrong with having a little safe fun with the right people.
It's hard at that age to resist to presure. We want so much to "belong", to be cool, to be "in".
It's better to be alone sometimes!

Phunk Factor said...

@ DeepBlue

Why thank you, kind Sir! :)


18-25 are the roughest fucking years of anyone's life! Those are the times where you officially not only find out who you really are, but how to deal and move on with it. If someone offered me a time machine to go back and do it again...I WOULD SHOOT HIS BITCH ASS!!!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Thundercat

LOL..leave it to u to come up with the funniest comment ever!! :p

Manu said...

I wanna boyfriend :/

Phunk Factor said...

@ Manu

All in good, little one! All in good time!

Derric said...

Well Said Phunk, 18, is never the time to be in a relationship, have fun, fool around with friends, thats what is 18 for.
For a relationship ill say 25, whats your take for the age to be in a relationship?

simple girl..... said...

well said man .... 18 is fun and to be enjoyed ..

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

21 is good enough to want a relationship BUT at the same time it always pay to be sure of what u want and for that - date. DATE! DATE! DATE! Date as much as possible!

@ Simple Girl

Thanks for the affirmative!

Jacob Woods said...

Great advice. Had I been asked the same question I don't think I would of answered much differently!

But it is good to get dating experience before you get on your way too far. This may cause immaturity later on in life when it comes to dating without such experiences. Just an after thought.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Jacob Woods

Thanks for ur valuable input! :)


Can you give me directions to your area bud. Thats just the life I am looking for.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Dave the Rave

I don't think this lifestyle is present just in Pakistan....try ur own area! ;)

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