May 14, 2011

I Just May Start to Like Him

If you want to change the face of the gay community, f*cking come out of the closet and maybe the media would have a broader sense of what being gay is!
- Chris Crocker 

I would admit that he actually has a point. The reason feminine gays are so easily spotted is that they stand out and are automatically pointed as gay. And therefore as a result, that's the over all perception most people have of us. 

There are masculine gay guys out there. We all knows that. They have dated us. They have had gotten intimate with us. They have loved us. We all say stop hating the gays, but when will the gays stop hating other gays?

I'm officially a follower of Chris Crocker. I too have said something earlier on the same issue here - I just wish mine was as awesome as his!


Trickle Down BS said...

That is an excellent point...I had never really thought about it that way but he is right.

I am glad you posted this.


Adil Yusufzai said...

coming out will never help. It will only create more problems. Being a born gay is not wrong, acting upon it is. Having male company or being around your own kind for emotional needs and friendship is not wrong, however committing the forbidden is. Learn as much as you can about our deen and try to keep yourselves as clean as possible, for no matter how much you deny one day we will all die and face the Almighty!

All humans on this planet are being tested, sure the test of us gays is probably tougher, but then again the rewards for our patience will be a lot sweeter InshAllah

Phunk Factor said...

@ Trickle Down BS

I know...even I had never thought of it like this! Chris has put forward an excellent point! :)

@ Adil Yusufzai

I don't think the gay test is tougher than any other test...if God loves us all equally..why would He not test us all equally?!

M@rvin said...

Yusufzai has come up with the usual rubbish, I'm afraid. Love your response, Phunks, that's so true. What kind of God would play dice with whom he/she tests more or less anyway?

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

Thanks, man! :D

DeepBlue said...

I don't think God is testing nor judging anyone. God loves us and only wants us to love one another. Period.
I personnaly hope to have more and more support from the "Straight Community". We're getting there, little by little.
Great post Phunk and thanks!

Jackdaw said...

Thanks for posting this!

When I had just come out of the closet my boyfriend wanted to go to a Gay Pride celebration. I complained to my boyfriend that the leather gays, drag queens and feminine gays actually make it more difficult for me to come out: because they confirm the stereotype. He got a bit angry with me for saying that and spoke the words I will never forget: "If we don't accept them, who will?" or in other words: don't discriminate within your own community. And about the gay pride emphasising the stereotype, he said: "That's a good reason to take part of the celebration and restore the balance," he said. Although those were true words, I don't believe it would actually help. The media only focus on the gays that deviate from the straight norms.

Also, even when participating, people might not recognise me as gay and think I'm a straight supporter. A friend of mine once told me that just walking down the street he could always distinguish the gay men from the straight ones. I had laughed at this empty statement: when I asked him how he checked that he was right, he answered that he didn't need to check it, because he could see the truth directly.

When I out myself to people I usually hear that I look very straight. I tend to respond that it's not that I look straight, but that the image of 'gay' in their minds is wrong.

However, I must admit that after watching the video I'm suddenly aware that I very much enjoy the duality between fitting in both the straight and the gay worlds and that I never realised that effeminate gays don't just put on an act but are who they are.

Eye-opener, Phunky. Thanks!

Phunk Factor said...

@ DeepBlue

Now n then, come a few straight people who are supportive of us...and that really is a boost for us!

@ Jackdaw

"When I out myself to people I usually hear that I look very straight. I tend to respond that it's not that I look straight, but that the image of 'gay' in their minds is wrong."


It's pretty clear...the perception that most ppl have of us is effeminate! While that is true to a certain degree, but pink is not the only color in our bag!

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

The one thing when it comes to fem gay men is that I have to give them props, they take the abuse that most of us can't or won't. The live their lives on their terms and people can take it or not. I have much respect for them for that reason as I don't see my self as one who could go running down the street with a gay pride flag, and, I don't think they give the gay community a bad rap at all, its the ones in powerful positions who are in the closet who do that.

Adil Yusufzai said...

well it's how we perceive things. If you think about it from a straight person's point of view, it is easier for him to sin, considering it is more acceptable in this world. If a man does adultery with a woman, society will call it an affair and will look the other way, which makes it easier for them to become more sinful. So you see, the test is equal, it's just a difference of methods. Fact of the matter remains that we HAVE to find a sensible way to manage ourselves, without doubting or creating doubts in others about the here after. The thing, first and foremost, should be acceptance of what we are and then what happens in the hereafter if we act upon it. Saying stuff like "if God loves us all equally..why would He not test us all equally?!" this will only keep you in a state of ignorance and denial, but will not change the facts, nor will it change God's mind (na aoozubillah), you can't challenge him. Like for example, when you keep a maid, she has to abide by your rules, if she doesn't, you'll immediately fire her. God is the creater, he is our owner and will do according to the rules he's laid. Now it's up to us to be stubborn about it and live in a state of ignorance, or accept it and mend our ways.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Sebastian G. Oliver

"its the ones in powerful positions who are in the closet who do that"

Speaking as someone who's seen a few of these...i do give u a thumbs up! Quite possibly these are the biggest homophobes to exist!

@ Adil Yusufzai

U are talking about two completely different things here! Sin is a whatever it is!

Just because the society deems it more adaptable...doesn't make it any less of a sin!

Coming out is NOT a sin! It's just telling the ppl important to u that ur gay! It actually makes u brave enough to accept who u are and giving the ppl u love an actual reason for what u have planned for life and not let them go crazy speculating!

I'd rather come out than be closeted, marry a girl and then have sex with random guys!

Coming out is in no way anything sexual! Coming out does not mean that u hav the license to sleep around with guys! Coming out is just accepting n telling the world who u really are!

Addy said...

and then wat, when ur coming out? and people have learned to accept u, ahan so, then wat, the society in pakistan will not easily accept who u r, khair thats another topic for debate, i agree a person , should not live upon the society's whims, all Im saying is, since "coming out" is such a big thing, what happens later on? a person is still doing those sinful activities before and after coming out, only difference is that he has announced it.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Addy

The extent to which the Coming Out is to be done is entirely upon the individual who has decided to do so!

He can be out to just his family, his friends, his colleagues or the entire world - it's his decision!

About what you said, Coming Out has absolutely nothing to do with sex! It's done for a person to gain inner peace and acceptance!

Coming out doesn't in any context allow a person to have sex. What a person prefers sexually is entirely his business! Nobody comes out to have sex!


I think coming out would help because the folks that no one had a clue were gay...turned out to be gay, that would be like a huge IN YOUR FUCKING FACE to ignorance! Not all gay men wanna dress like chicks and belt out, "you go bitch" every five damn seconds like the media tries to portray!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Thundercat


Thank you for agreeing with me! :D

Rakesh said...

Coming out also "normalizes" homosexuality in the long run. The more out people, the less people will feel weird about being gay or knowing someone gay.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Rakesh

"The more out people, the less people will feel weird about being gay or knowing someone gay"

thumbs up...i wish Blogger had a 'Like' button!

simple girl..... said...

nice post.. great answers..

Phunk Factor said...

@ Simple Girl

Thanks, girl! :)

Trickle Down BS said...

There is no such thing as "SIN"...that is a concept fabricated by humans to enslave the followers of religion. The Creator would never make something if IT didn't mean to have some use.
As for yourselves, those who judge others, that is the biggest sin of all because you have no authority on the matter and you are repeating what your religion has taught you...(it is a learned concept as opposed to being born gay) so that if the time comes that the Creator for some reason only you can dream about to "actually judge us" you religious fanatics will have a one-way ticket to hell because what you are doing is far more sinful and abominable than being gay.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Trickle Down BS

I do agree that judging others is a deed we often practice that we need to let go off!

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