Apr 16, 2011


Two posts ago I mentioned in an entry that there is a new guy I am sort of interested in. Now I am telling you that I'm definitely interested in him, and that I am not quite sure exactly if he's interested in me or not. I keep getting mixed signals from him which is probably the worst thing about this whole dilemma.

The thing that sort of makes me very dubious about this whole thing that he's younger than me. He's three years younger than me, but so far he hasn't done anything that would make me want to gift him a laser watch on his next birthday. Plus it's more about the person's mental maturity as compared to his physical maturity, which is again something I am trying to do despite the fact that Amanda telling me that I don't need to. According to her, I am mature than most of the neanderthals she has known in her life. She's a sweet heart, I tell you - not that I was already aware of it!

The main thing that keeps bothering me that I am getting the hot and cold treatment from him. Like he would initiate a conversation by text messaging and then disappear half-way. He would apologize for falling asleep half-way which has led me to making sure that he sleeps on time. A few days ago I caught him Online at four in the morning, trying not to be paranoid I asked him about it the next day. I wasn't concerned that he might be chatting up with some other guy but that he was awake when he should be sleeping. He would sleep only two frigg'in hours a day if he had his own way. It's not that he has alot of studying to do, it's because he can't give up on any of his extra-curricular activities. When I told Ryan this detail, he could not help but roll his eyes at me and give me a lecture on how I starting baby-sitting every guy I come across even before I get seriously involved with him. "The only person you are allowed to baby-sit is me!", he said. I could not really make out if he was serious or being funny.

The best part is that he's flirting - on his own. But I am not quite sure how to respond to most of his quips. my flirting skills seriously need a tuning. We share a very similar passion for music. A few weeks after Lady GaGa released 'Born This Way', I got a message from him saying;

Doesn't matter if you love him,
Just put your paws up
'Cause, you were born this way Phunk

On a side note, he doesn't know about 'Phunk Factor' yet and I don't plan on telling him for quite sometime. He replaced 'Baby' in the lyrics with my real pet name which sort of sounds very close to the original word. Perhaps I am reading too much into this!

Then he has already starting messaging me in the morning, and replies to my good night messages. I wasn't entirely sure to spring up on this band wagon. Nathan and I did the same but upon getting into the relation.

As mentioned earlier that I haven't told him about 'Phunk Factor', but happens to know about everything else to me that there is. I have told him I was committed twice before and that I am out to a couple of friends. I have gay friends who know me by identity. Anything that could possibly freak him out and push him away from me is already out on the table except that I own a blog. If somehow he was to come across it, I have a feeling that he could put one and one together and make two. However I will not be telling him until I am absolutely sure that we are committed in a monogamous loving relation.

Somethings about him are throwing me completely off. Manjam, where I find guys from, offers a free membership. If you happen to be a free member, you can send a fixed number of messages every twenty four hours. Only once somebody has approved your friendship request can you send him as many messages as you want. He replies to my messages five to six hours after reading them. I don't know if he's genuinely busy or he forgets about them or he's playing some sort of mind game. I'm hoping it isn't the last option because I hate mind games and those who play them just as much. I don't bother with it because dating is already pretty confusing without all this petty foolishness. I reply when I go Online, if I can't I tell him that I'm busy but I'll reply to his message as soon as possible. Maybe I come off as desperate by this manner.

Secondly I have asked him out twice, both times he turned me down. I don't plan on asking him out for a third time. If he is interested, he would ask me. I am not asking him for the third time at least not anytime soon. It's not like he doesn't meet guys, he has met a couple of guys from what he told me.

All I can do now is hope and be as normal as possible. I'm trying desperately not to get my hopes up and not fall in love with him. If this doesn't work out, moving on would be alot easier. But let's see how this man drama unrolls!


Faisal Khan said...

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread? Move with caution..but not with so much skepticism.

Andrea Almanza said...

He is younger... but dont play daddy. Not very many men like to be told what to do, even if your right. Yes wait for him to ask you next for a date. Do a little of what he is doing, dont be readily availible to his messages wait like an hour (even if your sitting at the computer waiting to press enter, lol) The begining should be carefree and easy, never demanding. Also make sure your views on differences between dating and a relationship are clear that way if a relationship developes later he will understand what is acceptable and not for you.
Phunk remember this is the fun time the get to know you, flirt, butterfly stage... dont be too serious till commitment comes up. Enjoy the present and dont stress to much. ♥

Phunk Factor said...

@ Faisal Khan

Im skeptical about alot of things, man! But now i really cant help it.

I hope it dissolves with time bt nt sure!

@ Andrea Almanza

I do c where u r cmng from n i do agree on most of the things u mentioned!

But mindgames hs nvr been appealing to me! I cn knock it like a pro, bt i dont like doing tht! Bt then they do say: If u can't lick 'em, join 'em! :p

M@rvin said...

Sorry to be the party pooper, but he's probably too young to be in any relationship. Anyway, aren't both of you free to flirt and even date others until you actually get into a relationship?
And he hasn't responded to meeting up? Red flag if he lives anywhere within 50 miles of you.
My new policy - boycott these 'players' at the first sign of being played. Life is too short for all this drama.

Aaron Khan said...

Gud 2 c ur social life isnt dead :) well my 1st advice is DO NOT fall in love till u hav had atleast 2,3 meets. u cnt figure out on texts or messaging only dat how d other person is. as for his late replies, dont think 2 much bout it. he mite actually b bz instead of playin mind games. best of luck mate

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

I'm turning 24 this year...he turned 21 two months ago! Still think it's young?

And what did u mean by the red flag? I am familiar with the area he's from and it isn't anywhere near my place!

Bt why do u avoid such guys?

@ Aaron Khan

Yeah...and 2, 3 meeting?! LOL!

I can't manage a shot at 1 meeting..right now, I'm not even thinking about the 2nd or 3rd meeting! :p

Rakesh said...

I told you this would happen and you said you wouldn't fall for anyone. :) You seem to do this too often - when someone starts flirting with you, you immediately start building castles in the air. You'll get hurt. Flirt back, be a player, but don't fall in love. Let time take its own course and if things are meant to be, they'll happen. Besides, what 21 year old thinks long term anyway???

Gautam said...

hi , i hope things go your way bro .
you are damn lucky atleast to have some one to text message and wait and wait for reply. when ever you get an sms dont you pray dearly that it must be from him. After all things may work out or may not, but all those moments will be our best. You new blog follower from India , Sanjay .

M@rvin said...

21 and 24? Of course, age and maturity are two different things, but we are all (yes, even me at 27 :-) very young.
Does he live in Karachi? How long have you guys chatted? Anything over 3 weeks of chatting and you should meet up, I feel.
As for your photo request of that guy in my post, check your inbox soon. :)

Gautam said...

hi , hope things go your way bro .
keep putting efforts. I had some hide and seek games like this in my life . Even though nothing materialised i am now happy that they happened. Your Indian friend , Sanjay

DeepBlue said...

Aaah! The joys of dating. And you'd think it gets easier with time...
When I was 24, (that was back in the late 80), we had no cell phone, no Internet... Prehistoric Times!
Where I live, young gay men were not allowed to fall in love then. How don't know how it is in Pakistan today, but God, I wish I were 24 again!
You guys are lucky, you know?
Today, I'm done with those games. I just bluntly tell a guy how I feel, if there's no match, we both move along. But that's just me.
Good luck on the awesome roller coaster of romance. Hope you'll be able to enjoy the good AND the bad.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Rakesh

I haven't entirely! :p

Seriously..knowing me..i would have been head over heels by now but so far I feel I have done a respectable job!

And hey - I'm only learning! :p

Okay...n ur last one srsly made me think! But he has mentioned specifically that he's looking for longterm and those interested should message him...hmmm...okay, now I'm thinking of him as desperate! :p


@ Gautam

Thanks fr the wishes, buddy!

Srsly speaking, I nipped the prayer streak pretty quick...now it only happens wen I send certain flirtatious texts to see how he responds!

@ M@rvin

Hell yeah...ur a young buck! TO be...even 35 is pretty young!

Yeah...he's from Karachi! Obviously..i'm done with LDR!

I know...but he turned down saying he was busy both times! Now asking a third time makes me seem desperate! :p

Yes yes...saw it! U hyped it alot more than u shud hav! :p

@ DeepBlue

Ooooo ur so my kinda guy! No mind games....i freak'in hate 'em!

N dude..ur ancient and i mean that in very cool sorta way..makes me want to know u more! :D

M@rvin said...

I know I've been sounding a bit bitchy in my comments to this post - didn't mean to, sorry. Just looking out for another sensitive guy in a world of crazy predators. :)

I just read Rakesh's comment - he has put it very well, I totally second that.

Also, yes, don't ask again to meet up, at least not for a while IMO. But something I have realized - some guys are just content with 'virtual' relationships; we have to judge if that is good enough for us too.

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

Bitchy => Hell naw!

LOL @ Another sensitive guy

U make me sound like a wuss! :p

Perhaps..but if he's into that...then he's SO not my type!

jits said...

I know what u r going through phunk , the same is going on with me as well. My friends tell me to tkae things slow and not to rush him or myself. I agree i do tend to come across strong sometimes so i am trying to take things slow.

Whimsical Hatter said...

Daddy Phunk :-P:Listen, don't fret over what 'it' is going to turn out to be.Wait , have a discerning eye ,but not read too much into the lines as well,if you know what I mean.I know,it is easier said than done and Being skeptical , never helps( it takes one ueber-skeptic, to know another).But go with your senses and mind, and 'fingers crossed', that alls well ;-)
P.S-1: I simply tried playing 'agony aunt'.Do forgive,for the non-sense, I just puked.
P.S-2: Ryan's come-back/comment was adorably cute:-)
P.S:3- Again, I plead you to atleast heed to my request this time- Name the 'brownilicious, honey-textured hunk'(featured in this blog-post) I so desperately seek to know the whereabouts of :-)

Haider Ali said...

Omg this guy sounds a lot like me! :-|

Phunk Factor said...

@ Jits


There has to be room for ppl like us somewhere! :)

@ Whimsical Hatter

Daddy phunk?!

LOL! U want me to spank u or something for being naughty?

Not that I need a reason you know! :p

No, man..u made sense! I can decode u any day! :p

@ Haider Ali

LOL! Aaron asked me the same thing earlier!

Average Queer Slut said...

best of luck, phunk factor

your a great guy and i really hope that it works out for you

thanks for commenting and following my blog

Phunk Factor said...


Thanks, man!

P.S. Why the use of 'slut' in ur name?

Derric said...

give him time and space dont rush up, let him take his time
And in between you date other guys, dont go monogamous on him right away

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

Gave him 6 days of space - no contact at all!!

I should date other guys. That's the thing! I tried doing that - and i'll blog about it!

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