Apr 29, 2011

I Could Have It All Wrong

I'm getting sort of irritated now by all this drama that's brewing up. I have not even indicated any signs of interest except that I am being nice despite all his pokes at my relation with Nathan. I have been patient up till now but I don't see it going anywhere. I want to take another chance and ask him out so that if he says no once again, I can simply be done with it once and for all. But my mind keeps saying that it's way too early to ask him out again.

I have started playing the same game he is playing. I don't reply to his text messages immediately. If he says he wants to talk, I do talk but I keep it as short as possible. Yes, I crack jokes and I flirt. I ask him how was his day and I try to ask how his sister's pregnancy is coming along if I can. Perhaps I am asking him too much, but for a fifteen to twenty minutes call I think it's pretty appropriate. Even more so since I have to make all the conversations and guide it.

Ryan was very happy initially when I told him about Josh. He was glad I found someone who was willing to in a relation and who happened to be in Pakistan. "So has he ever been in a relation before or are you going to pop this cherry?", he said with a smirk.

"As far as he's told me, he has not been in a relation!", I told him point blank after ignoring his last remark.

"Impossible! He's 20 years old and he's been on that dating website for two years. He's lying to you when he says he hasn't been committed.", Ryan voiced.

"I don't know. Perhaps that is true. But it's best that I give him time to tell me himself rather than go all Phunk on his ass and make him confess the truth.", I told him. A few weeks later he told me himself that he has been committed once but they broke up. From how he said it, I had a feeling that he's still not entirely over it but I didn't ask him any 'when' and 'how' questions. It's a completely different story altogether for some other day perhaps.

I don't mind that Josh has an ex. Most guys do! I have dealt with ex before and I honestly don't mind. I don't mind putting myself in a guy and making him realize that he may have had a great guy in the past but now he's got me and I'm much better! :D


Okay well not entirely like that. But yes, I honestly don't mind. He may have many memories from his past relation, but with me he will have new ones. Isn't that is what dealing with a new person is about?. I do try my best and I have enough faith in myself that if I want to make someone feel special, I can pull it off pretty well. I don't claim to be the perfect boyfriend. Heaven helped Nathan with some of my annoyances. I know the things I did wrong and would definitely try not to fall in the same pits with Josh. However if that person isn't even considering to give me a chance then what do I do?.

I have a test on Monday or Tuesday, don't exactly know the date yet. Till then I am going completely cold turkey on Josh. After that I'll see his reaction to the absence and then I'll make a decision if I should ask him once again or not. 


Faisal Khan said...

At least u don't get ur hopes high as quickly as I do! U'll be crashing less harder than I! Gud, ur playing it slow n sure.

Fasih Ur Rehman said...

wow... u do date a lot :D
Thoh kinda cool if u can play it your way, without getting too caught up in all this... For me, i've no control over anything, all i need is a spark and then the whole emotional roller-coaster thingy.

Hadi Hussain said...

Punko manko u are awesome babe and you know that. You know every new relation or potential relation is just like a gamble. You shouldn't generalise, you shouldn't let your past interfer, you may try things which have never worked before. it's all about giving yourself and the other person a chance. That's whaT you are doing, that's what i had done and you know what i am happy about it. and you will be happy about it. Trust me. *Lahori Hadi Japphi* for my sweetu

Phunk Factor said...

@ Faisal Khan

I still do that at time, man...but all the soon I tell myself to calm down and don't let it get to my head!

I need to grow up...and in regard to growing up not getting my hopes up is a part of it!

@ Fasih Ur Rehman

N i LOVE it! :D

@ Hadi Hussain

"it's all about giving yourself and the other person a chance" => <3<3<3

I'm going to text this to Josh sometime soon! :D

simple girl..... said...

way to go.. good luck...

Phunk Factor said...

@ Simple Girl

Thanks alot :)

DeepBlue said...

Ride the wave, my friend, just ride the wave.
You know what you want?
Then go for it!
And if you fall off your board (and you will; we all do) then look! the sea is still there and there are plenty of other waves comming your way.
You guys are so lucky. 25 years ago, we didn't have Internet or cell phones. Can you imagine how hard it was for young gay men to date? Almost impossible! Except going to those bars filled with guys who only wanted to bust your cherry... of course, that's not necessarily a bad thing...;)
Enjoy every minutes of your life, my friend, even the frustations, enjoy it all.
It's all part of the "growing up" process which will never end. I still today have so much growing up to do myself. ;)

Phunk Factor said...

@ DeepBlue

Thanks for the awesome pearls of wisdom, man!

But yes, I totally agree! Internet has made it alot easier for gay minds to meet!

Whimsical Hatter said...

No, you don't have it all wrong. or maybe, you do. let 'time'tell you the direction.
this post reeks of your 'awesomeness', boy;-) and Ryan might just be stealing your 'lime-lite' with his wit, as well. Question: I have a suspicion, that Ryan might be the 'more' cooler,awesome 'you'-sort of a split-personality thingy ;-)( just joking!)
P.S: how did your test, go?

Phunk Factor said...

@ Whimsical Hatter

Yeah...that's what I am doing!

Once again ur piling on way too many compliments...but i think ur hitting on me now! :p

Is it true? :p

Yeah - in many ways we are similar...i think that's why we gelled together well but no..it's not some split personality psychosis! :p

Test went well...let's see what happens next..and thanks for asking!

Derric said...

Cold or Hot Turkey, dont bother me, hope it works out pretty soon

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

I have a sinking feeling that it won't!

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