Is age really just a number when it comes to love?
This question has been bothering me since the past few days. It's pretty evident that age is important factor. Gay or straight - one of the first question everybody tries to wriggle out of their potential partner is their age. Also it comes to no surprise that pretty often people lie about it and that it's a very common reason people tend to reject others. This all clearly lays emphasis on the fact that age truly does matter.
Unlike straight relations where it's generally looked down upon when the woman is older than the man, we have no such issue. We are frowned upon in any case - insignificant of the age of the two guys involved. However in every case, people do have a certain age limit which they do not want to cross. Rarely does there come an exception which causes them to step outside of their boundaries.
I don't like dating young guys. Period! It makes me feel like a cougar. My age limit starts from 23 which is my age and goes up till 30. I'm willing to stretch up to 35 provided that I'm genuinely interested in the guy. But anything above 35 is a no go for me. My preference would obviously change as I age, since I do prefer older men. The only time I see myself going for somebody younger would be when I'm 30 and the other guy would be like 28 or something. But then there's that whole formula that 30 is equal to death in the gay world.
Fetishes aside, how much does the age of the partner effect the chemistry of a relation. Maybe my views are stereotypical but I speak solely from experience. When dating an older guy, it gives you the chance to be a 'child' in a relationship. While you are obviously responsible but I think a greater part falls on the other person. Or perhaps they feel that they have to take charge - be an example sort of thing. I remember talking to Bruce about something and he said, "I am older than you! I have more experience! I know better!". Could this be some sort of Power Play?
I know you are older and have more experience but I don't spout nonsense. After that I really didn't feel like saying what's on my mind most of the times in fear of being scolded like a child. But where does this come from?.
I have an opinion. You should listen to what I have to say. Can't we discuss this like mature adults?
While I would try to set up an example when dating somebody younger - if that opportunity ever comes. I would not enforce my thinking. A relationship is a two way street after all. When dating a younger man, there is a certain energy level you have to meet. And I'm not talking about sexual energy. But I feel generally they maybe more free spirited. You have to keep them grounded, however not by tying an anchor to their feet. Quite a few times, there is a certain innocence to them I feel the other person needs to accept and not try to change. This innocence will mature like fine wine in time itself. I'm not suggesting to smother them but a mutual acceptance of opinions.
What about when you are dating a man close to your age? Is that the best way to go? Like a year younger older or a year younger. Perhaps even the same age as you! At any rate, there isn't much difference between the two. They both have been around for the same amount of time and have more or less the same amount of experience. Being at the same stage of life, they have pretty similar goals in their minds and they mutually support each other as they know exactly what is happening with the other person. When I was with Nathan, I felt I enjoyed my time with him much more than with Bruce.
I have been with an older guy and someone almost my age. Although guys younger rarely fascinate me, however I think it's time I gave a younger meat a serious shot. I'm not entirely sure about anything yet, but there is a chance that I may have someone in mind. Yes, there has been a recent development and there is a very serious chance that this may actually mature into something concrete. He's younger than me and that's the part which has me scared the most. I have a firm idea in mind how to proceed but since when the best plans have been laid out by men?!
I'm putting up a poll that I would like the readers to contribute to. What age would you prefer your partner to be?
I'll be publishing another post along the same lines that was inspired by Ryan.