Mar 13, 2011

Papa Dinosaur

Since the past few days I have been getting messages from a very strange profile. What makes this profile so frigg'in nauseating is the age of the owner of this profile. He's frigg'in 55!

Currently, I am 23. My dating age bracket isn't constricting. I am open to dating guys from 20 to 35 - and even as old as 40 providing I am genuinely interested in the person. However there is a limit to which I will stretch. This individual doesn't even fall anywhere near my limit. There is a difference of more than 30 years between our ages. My reaction to his messages has been extremely clear from day one - not interested in the least. He's a doctor and clearly his quite educated, however there is a fine difference between being educated and being literate. He just doesn't seem to understand that I am not interested!

When he first contacted me, I didn't really know if I should be disrespectful to him. He's probably four or five years younger than my very own father. How do you even reject him without telling him he clearly should not be wandering on a gay dating website!

Another thing quite discerning about the profile is that he is married and has kids. If I had all that, I would be on the top of this frigg'in world and really would not give a shit to some dating site occupied by brainless, hormone charged morons. Seriously how can he even consider getting humped by random strangers when he could be spending quality time with his children. Here I am yearning for cute little babies, which is something he is already blessed with and yet here he is!

If he can not handle the pressure of a married life, he should have not married in the first place.

This is my serious plea to anybody who's gay and is considering getting into the holy union of marriage with a girl. If you think you can not handle it and live through it, do not get into it. I agree it's not everybody's cup of tea. But dudes, gays are not even supposed to be at this frigg'in tea party. Go sip on some non alcoholic margaritas and appletinis - whatever tickles your pickle! But marriage is not child's play. I do not conform to any form of cheating. Toss cow dung on to those idiots who think that if they are sleeping with men outside their marriage they are not cheating. Cheating is cheating - gender, extent of intimacy, place or anything else doesn't make it right the least bit.

By the fifth message, I clearly was blowing steam from my ears. "Okay do not meet me. But at least show me your pictures!" - Argh! Stupid foolish arse hole of a butt plug for brains moron!

Quoting the rarely sane Ke$ha - You are a dinosaur!

But on a slightly better note another profile that has been contacting me alot recently is of a young buck. He clearly seems interested and is hinting towards a relationship however I am giving the guy Ted has been pushing a chance. At any rate, I am hoping to be friends with the young buck.


THUNDERCAT832 said...

Oh hell naw! This old Fart-Knocker better leave my blog bro the hell alone! Let me at his ass...I'll get rid of him! lol

Andrea Almanza said...

Good job Phunkie, and at this point rude is ok. Call him on his morals then block him!
Luvs sweetie!

Haider Ali said...

M j has the weirdest of crowd lol once I was contacted by this man who looked way older than my dad, all I did was ignore him lol

Phunk Factor said...

@ Thundercat832

Roflmao -> Fart-knocker

No new messages from him yet....but then I've blocked his wrinkly ass off my is beautiful again!

@ Andrea Almanza

I don't think it's my job...and frankly I don't think I would be the first one doing so! Some people don't get it...he's clearly one of them!

@ Haider Ali

Duuuude...i so get u there...there are profiles by 50 yr old men i steer clear....u need to giv these fart-knockers the slightest indication of interest and boom..ur stuck!

M@rvin said...

Nice new man on the masthead. Is it crazy of me that I first read that line under the blog title as 'Baby, I was born to serve'?! :)

Is this guy white? A lot of older white dudes hit on younger men 'of color' for some reason, at least in my experience. Is he hot? I'd sleep with a hot 55 year old LOL! What website is this anyway or is that a secret? :) And yes, can I hit on you? I mean, I know I'm older too... ;)

PS - Been a while for me, sorry for dropping off the face of the earth like that. Still figuring out my exam and how and when to arrange it, sigh.

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

LOL!!'s 'Baby, I was born to SURVIVE!'...from the song Born This Way by Lady GaGa!

Btw...the new layout is kinda inspired from ur blog's thank you! :D

No..he's Pakistani...he isn't showing his pictures cuz i'm not showing him mine...and yea..u totally can...infact i want u to hit on me! :p

No no no..don't apologize! I kno ur frigg'in busy with ur u better compensate fr this lack of attention with assorted chocolates...or comments...whichevr comes cheaper! :p

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Just imagine his old shrivelled balls all up in yer face.

Phunk Factor said...

@ A Daft Scott Lass

Eww....I'd rather not! :p

Hadi Hussain said...

Hahahaha it do happens but i liked your point regarding the marriage & cheating. I know a gay guy who ended up marrying a lesbian and now cry baby is lamenting that she is cheating on poor him and i know that he is also doing the same, even rather more often than her. Bloody hypocrites....
Keep sharing

Phunk Factor said...

@ Hadi Hussain

I really don't mind a gay marrying a lesbian as long as they do honor the value of marriage...but yeah...his story sort of made me laugh! :p

Hadi Hussain said...

Exactly my point, if you don't believe in anything doesn't entail you to dishonour or disrecpect it. I personally dont like gay men marrying women, even lesbians because its just a social adjustment one is making to abuse something important for many.

Whimsical Hatter said...

there are some old blokes, who still try to coax you,even after you have been really nasty with them... it's like their brains shrivelled up and the cranium got filled in with vacuum! I have had older guys asking me really 'eww' stuff,even after me persistently declining their msgs!
I totally agree with you, Phunk, on the 'marriage part'-if you prefer a 'pickle' just don't try to get yourself to eat a 'cherry'.btw, loved the analogy(yet again!) you used!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Hadi Hussain

Social adjustment it maybe...howevr if they do stay in a monogamous relation howevr sexless...there is really no harm in doing so...or at least so I feel!

@ Whimsical Hatter

Babe...i'm SO sorry fr not having replie yet!'s unforgivable! :(

Cubby said...

I thought this was a great blog post and giggled through it. When I was your age all I wanted were 40 and 50 year-olds. But they would not pay any attention to me. They told me to go play with kids my own age! I couldn't win :-(

Phunk Factor said...

@ Cubby

40 is as high as I can go....then I believe there is a certain difference that comes!

Well...i'm sure if somebody invents a time machine and u are able to go back...they will not refuse u! ;)

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