Mar 19, 2011

The Amazing Spider Man

My 5 year old nephew is over from States these days and I can't put it to words how glad I am to see him. My first contact with this insanely cute boy happened in 2009 when I was in States for my vacations. I spent about a week at his father's place who is my first cousin. My nephew's grandfather and my dad are blood brothers with a good difference of 16 years and 5 other siblings between them. However they are pretty close because the house that I am currently living in used to be shared by these two brothers. But then his sons got married and moved to States to begin their families and once that happened, someone was needed to watch over the kids. They have come to Pakistan after 2 years, but it's my nephew's first ever visit to Pakistan.

He has just gotten bitten by the Spider Man fever and is completely obsessed with him. He lives, eats, talks, sleeps and burps Spider Man. He knows about Super Man and Batman but doesn't care the least bit about them. Spider Man can kick everyone's butt in his opinion. Cute!

I had a busy day in college, so when I came home by 4 PM I had absolutely no idea that he was at our place. Just as soon as I entered our house's gates, he ran and crashed into me. "Chachu, I missed you!" he said out loud and would not let go of my jeans. Chachu is for the word Uncle in Urdu. He has been over at our house before twice since he came to Pakistan on 10th March and we had a blast. I had no option but to pick him up into my arms and carry him around. Little monster snatched my glasses and threw them out of the house. Nice arm on that kid!

He's a very social kid but he's taken particular fondness with me since I do all crazy acrobatic like flipping him over and walking around with him on my shoulders. I had lunch with him on my thigh from the same plate. It was so cute to watch those tiny hands fold sheermaal into tiny bites dipped in gravy. Everytime I tried to feed him, he would bite me. "I'm a big boy!", he would scream at the top of his lungs. I had to put the individual pieces of meats into his mouth separately.

After lunch we played for a while with his Spider Man toys. He banged my wrist a gazillion times with his action figure attempting to knock out whatever Spider Man's villain I had in my hand. But it was so much fun that I can't put it to words. I would not mind if he knocked a hundred action figures out of my hand. Then it was time to put him to sleep, but how do you even tell a hyperactive 5 year old it's time to go to bed and not have him throw a tantrum at you?!

I promised him that if he comes to bed, I'm going to tell him a Spider Man story. And it worked! Actually I really didn't have a Spider Man story. I simply narrated the bits of the first Spider Man movie that I could remember on spot while gently patting him on the back. Half an hour later the little darling was fast asleep! I took a break for a while since I had some time to myself.

When he woke up a while back, he was in my arms again. "I'm going to call you 'Spider Chachu' because you tell me the best Spider Man stories!" and he hugged me. I had a little tear in my eye. My little sister caught me streaming and couldn't help but smile. They just left a few minutes ago as they had to visit a few of my cousins's wife's relatives. "We are coming to Spider Chachu's place at night. I want to listen to more Spider Man stories!"

I feel bad that they had to lie to their kid, but they will not be spending any nights here. They are spending all the night at the wife's parents place. At our house the grandparents are staying only. It's been just a while and I'm missing the little tyke like crazy!

However a small part of me can't help but be a sad. Through out the day as I played with him, I realized how much he looked like his father. I remember how my aunt had this photo of my cousin as a baby in their room and my nephew is like a carbon copy of his dad. From what I heard, my cousin was a rambunctious little monster in his childhood. His son is nothing less!

As much as I would love to have a child biologically, I can't. If I do get to a place where I can fully handle the responsibility of a child I would have to go for adoption. I am not against adoption. I actually very much adore the idea. But that little bubble of never being able to see how my own child would look like is now stuck in throat and I can't swallow it.

I'll get back up. All I need is a little time! I'll be okay. I promise - after all I'm the amazing Spider Chachu!


Rakesh said...

Who says you can't have a child of your own? Many gay couples are going for surrogacy.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Rakesh

I'm kinda traditional in tht sense...breast feeding is a necessary tool in the child's physical and emotional development...obviously my partner(very questionable of tht happening) and me lack the required apparatus....adoption does seem like the better option right now...perhaps at that moment it'll change..but right now I'm placing the tick on adoption!

Samuel Khan said...

why doesnt fb have a SUPER-LIKE option ? i m in dire need of it ryte nOw . . .
Phunkoo u r a great guy . . . may God bless u with the best of both the worlds Amen :)

Aaron Khan said...

look at it in dis way. u get 2 giv home n love n life to a child who mite b thrown between foster homes n mite never feel loved. u r providing him wid a stable environment. dat HAS TO count for sumthin phunk :) chin up. u r doin sumthin more better than re-producing ur own.or atleast u plan 2.

Sam Amk said...

great post...ur great man..i have never old any stories to my neice n nephews.. but i do make fun with them ... yes but how ru planning to adopt or ......i gues if u wana have all then u gota move to diffferent country ..Pakistan would be a problem culture n religion will always stop.sorry if i sound harsh but was giving my thought only

Fasial Khan said...

I want a child, too. But I shudder to think how he/she wud turn out to be if they got my DNA!

Phunk Factor said...

‎@ Sammy K;

Thnx fr ur amazing wishes, bro!

@ Aaron Khan;

That's actually a very good suggestion...i think that positive thought will get me going thru the day! Thanks, Aaron! :)

@ Sam Amk;

Right now the plan is to become someone who can handle an adoption process and turmoil...once I am there, I think this will unfold itself...i'll consult ppl who hav done the same and hav been in my'll work out for me InshAllah!

@ Faisal;

Dude....firm belief of matter how ugly a person is, there is absolutely no way even the ugliest person can think of their child as 'ugly'! We love these lil bundles of joys from the bottom of our hearts! :)

H said...

Aw you're making me miss my cousin. She and me exactly like that. =(
She's my favourite kid in the world!

You know what Phunks, you'll make a fantastic father! :D
And with that heart o' gold, an amazing partner.

Samuel Khan said...

many biological kids come outta wombs every year . . .
but adopted kidz r way too special i guess , because they come outta ya heart . . . :)

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

Its a urge that many have, I have never had it, but, if I really wanted a child, i would adopt one, many kids would benefit from someone like you if you decide to want a child once you are settled.

And, oh yeah, as cute as they are for a visit, they can work your last good nerve in a minute 24/7 LOL!

Phunk Factor said...

@ H

Well..i hav no favorites...i'll take ne kid that comes my way! :D

I hope so....but about the partner...i hav huge doubts!

@ Sammy

Srsly?! Tell me again...why do you not have a blog to keep these awesome pearls of wisdom u bless us with!


@ Sebastian G. Oliver

I know...that's another thing my cousin tells me about's impossible to hate children...or so I feel! I need to be more around children to get to grasp the idea of having a child fr good...a complete person who depends on me for everything he/she wants done!

Whimsical hatter said...

sniff..sniff...super-like this post! you know what, even as much as a child smiles or even frowns at me, I go into raptures of joy..and you had to put up this post to make me feel bad na ?! :-p I 'm so happy for the 'SPider Chachu' and NOT for you,you mister have left me yearning for baby gaga,gogo ..sniff,sniff
'' He lives, eats, talks, sleeps and burps Spider Man. He knows about Super Man and Batman but doesn't care the least bit about them. Spider Man can kick everyone's butt in his opinion''-Absolutely Adorably written..awwwh!
you are going to make a wonderful dad soon,Phunk! I believe you have *gold standards*, at it...hugs!
I share your feelings too..'one of my own' is what I ache for! but then, I don't even have hoards of cousins,so I don't even stand a chance at baby-sitting!why don't I know of people who can procreate and auction off their babies to me ..argh!!!!!

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

There is nothing more amazing than a child, I just wish the world would view them with the love that many gay men who don't have them and want them do as too many of them suffer on this planet, and, in a state like the one I live in, the laws are set up for only married people to even adopt, unless of course you have lots of money and can go to China like some do, which makes no sense since many neglected kids are right here.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Whimsical Hatter

U know what...he asked me what was my favorite super hero so I told him Batman...and then he said Spiderman is stronger than my favorite should be Spiderman! :D

'you are going to make a wonderful dad' - Amen, brother! :)

No cousins?! Friends?

@ Sebastian G. Oliver

The last line of ur comment made me miss my friend, Christian who I hav discussed on the blog...and yeah, I don't get that...if there are neglected kids where the person is living...then why isn't there some sort of agency to help in their adoption!

THUNDERCAT832 said...

I have a killer idea! If me and my man don't have a kid within the next five years, you and I should make a baby! I know you and I are blog brother and sister, but we aint really blood lol We don't have to get down and do it, we can get a doctor to hook us up with a little test tube action ;)

Hadi Hussain said...

It was a really cute post. Spider Chachu :) But yes i can understand your feelings towards the end. From quite sometime, i don't want to admit but yes i want a baby, my baby and it's so emotional that i just can't explain it in words. Little hands, little cuteie huggies, oh gosh man you make me senti!!! A wonderful post anyways. I'll adopt or make any interested lesbian friend carry my baby :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Thundercat832 the idea! Howevr two things...i'll be one of those crazy obsessive father-to-be so expect me to be on ur butt with ur diet, pills and other stuff!

And also..ur man shud be fine with it! I don't wanna get into a tussle with my bro-in-law! ;)

@ Hadi Hussain

Ooo ooo..dibs on ur lesbian friend cuz I'm younger than u...remember the eternal saying 'Chotay phelay'! :D

I'm dumped from Spider Chachu....his grandma didn't like it! :p

I don't mind..i still get the same love either way!

Mike said...

Awww cute story! Sounds like a cute kid!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Mike

He is....he most definitely is!

M@rvin said...

Sounds like a cute kid - and a lovely uncle. Please don't make me cry here. :)

Things will work out for us, you wait and see. There's more to the universe than what some fool bigots think.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Andrea;

I guess...and yeah definitely...running away in a mall is much easier...u can easily get lost in a crowd!

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

He's a cute kid! He's most definitely a very cute kid! Dunno about the uncle so much! :p

I hope so, man! I hope so!

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