Feb 20, 2011

Gossip Guys

As children one of the lessons we're told very clearly and often regularly is to never ever lie. No matter what happens, we should never ever lie. Lying is wrong. Lying is an unforgivable sin. Liars go to hell.

Rarely do people learn to pick up on this lesson and this results in incident like the following happening in their lives.

After the revelation of Alex's 'affair' dawned on our class, there was no stopping all the teasing and poking from the guys. By the time you managed to shut up one of them another one would start squawking like a mad crow. It's not that they were genuinely pleased to see it come to an end but it seemed that was all people were talking about. However I suppose that people rarely got an opportunity to poke fun at Alex, usually it was Alex at the giving end. This could have been pure simple revenge!

Sometime in December it was boy's night out, some of the guys decided to raid a local pizza hut without the ladies. I was amongst them. As much as I enjoy the company of women, sometimes you have to be with guys amongst all the flying profanities, dirty jokes and a crazy food orgy. This particular gathering really bought a few rain clouds on my parade. Through the conversation somebody got hung over on garlic powder or drunk on too much Pepsi, but he wanted us to all bond together. Become brothers and BS like that!

How did he devise we do that?

We should confess about the girl(s) we like!


That's the exact reaction nearly everybody on the table had about his decision. How would telling others about our women would bring us closer? We're barely 16! Not even legal! We really don't have any girl trouble in our lives- unless these girls happened to be our moms.

In order to get the ball rolling, he started the confession. He pushed his best friend to tell everybody next and one by one, everybody divulged who they loved or had feelings for or if they were already in a relationship. Fortunately I was located on the other end of the table compared to the douchebag supreme, so the sword came pretty late on my head. I didn't want to lie and fabricate some stupid lie, and I certainly didn't want to come out over a pizza. But everybody kept pushing me to tell, including Alex. Since I wasn't naming anybody, people started to make guesses. It all started bothering me so freak'in much that I named this girl who happened to be my biology lab partner. God, I'm such a geek! There was a collective 'Woohoo' across the table and some pats on my back that caused my glasses to be knocked off and fall into my soda glass. The round of confession began again, I started feeling guilty immediately about lying. Alex was disturbed that I didn't decide on telling him, he felt that I could not trust him. I had bigger fish to fry so for the first time I really didn't care how Alex felt.

Once everyone had confessed, there was some solemn promise that nobody would leak this precious info to anybody outside the table. What happened in Pizza Hut, doesn't leave Pizza Hut!

Thankfully nobody leaked the info, even though I was feeling horrible about lying. The worst part was the weird googly eyes that people made everytime they saw me working in the biology lab with her. Even Alex was a part of this charade of incredible stupidity and cheapness. I just kept telling myself to pull through the next four months and then you really wouldn't have to deal with any of it. I kind of felt like the kid who was bullied constantly.

I eventually confessed to the girl one day the make-shift story of mine, she had a nice laugh over it. "That explains all the weird stares I got in the lab!", she told me.

"You saw them?", I asked.

"Are you kidding? I could have been blind and still noticed them!", she told me.

"I thought you would go bat-shit crazy and ditch me completely!", I confessed.

"Not really! It's high school! Since when is it without drama?!" she joked.

True enough, I thought. My A Levels was filled with a butt load of drama!


Aaron Khan said...

I hate these school boy girls discussion. I never knew what to say! Glad that now its all over and I dont have to sit through that torture. But it must'v been difficult, Alex also teasing you bout the girl.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Aaron Khan;

It was tough...but I guess we should know how to roll with the punches and be a sport! I was most concerned with the fact that someone may open their big fat mouth and I would loose an awesome friend!

Thank God that didn't happen!

pisceanfantasy said...

And we have all learned that lying is wrong. You're in high school. Enjoy yourself

Trickle Down BS said...

Trouble with lying also is that you have to remember the lie. It is hard to keep up with "the tangled webs we weave"


Phunk Factor said...

@ Piscean Fantasy

Yea..but being closeted I hate having to lie about such stuff like my sexuality!

Hopefully all that I will be able to change one day!

@ Raulito


Sooner or later the person is bound to fall flat on to their pretty lil face!

Thanks fr showing up guys!

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

Its odd that start out as boys with tales of who they have dated, will date or want to date to seem manly, when 9 times out of 10, its a lie, and, it continues on into adulthood, where men seem to be bigger gossips than women and embellish more as well! Your lab mate was pretty cool in how she handled it, which shows, sometimes women really are more enlightened than men than we think!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Sebastian G. Oliver

I do agree on the statement that men gossip just as much as girls...howevr since it's not the ONLY talk they have men take it to their advantage and say that they don't gossip at all!!

And like the other common myth, women can be very sensible and not be all emotional and jump to conclusions!

Whimsical said...


A very coherent and succinct narration! ( I would have taken atleast two blog-posts revealing in ramblings, that would make no sense!)
and I agree with Oliver,woman really are more enlightened than men than we think! and for the lab-mate of yours- I tip my hat to that Lady, for her nonchalance!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Whimsical

Dude....English please!! I gotta open a dictionary fr ur comment....i'm a simple fellow...aw rite..here's what's gonna happen...i'll teach u my seductive arts...u teach my English! Deal? ;)

Yeah..i was pretty surprised at her not blowing up to be honest...like i said!! Women do deserve alot more credit than we give them!

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