Feb 22, 2011

Coming Out To Alex - Pt. 1

As our school year came to an end, our batch grew busy in organizing a special event that we wanted to do as a tribute to our teachers. Although it didn't come to be because majority of the teachers were busy in scheduling exam papers and related stuff, we had a good time in planning and rehearsing for the event. In the end, we organized a boring dinner at PC Sheraton that happened after the exams.

We needed some entertainment for the event. Primarily there were just two forms on entertainment that students came up with. Either the student body did an imitation skit of their various professors or we hired some musical guest to make an appearance. The fault with the former was that it was done to death and I also felt that it is slightly disrespectful. How would you feel if you were invited to a party in your honor and you were mocked there openly in front of your colleagues?.

I'm pretty sure the feeling won't be even remotely nice. The second option although very appropriate was highly impractical. While we tended to be gravitated towards the likes of Black Eyed Peas, Shakira, Linkin Park. Our teachers preferred the likes of Sufi music and the music of 70s and 80s. Something we knew nothing about.

Yours truly came up with a truly original idea of a skit titled 'Why We Fail?'. It basically was a compilation of the various juicy facts and fiction along with video and pictures so as to provide proof as to why brilliant students like us fail their not-so-brilliant exams. The entire batch was invited to lend their support and tell us whatever they knew. The response we got was hilarious with some very weird and hopefully fabricated answers. Alex and I rounded a couple of people to filter through them and then got down to making the skit out of it.

It took two days but we managed to pull it off, and when we gave the test run to a few of our peers they loved it. Before being finally approved for the event, it had to be approved. But we didn't want any of our professors to do so, then the entire idea would be out. So far we had them believing that we are doing an imitation skit. Nasty bunch of liars we were, I tell you!

We got another source to proof-read and approve the script for us. She told us to leave the script and get back to us after an hour or two. We did as we were told. "I really do believe that this is going to be great!", Alex said fixing his hair in the boys room.

"If they reject it, we can always go back and do the imitation as revenge!", I replied.

To be very honest, I didn't plan on coming out to Alex that day. I did plan on doing it sometime before we completely lost touch coming September as I started my medical college and he started his business one. We left the boys room and were walking around in the school ground. Lone expanses with no other living soul other than me and Alex. It was a Saturday morning. "I want to tell you something!", I confessed. I don't know why I always say the previous words when I want to confess something. I guess it is a sign for the other person to get ready however they are rarely ready for the what I have to say.

"I really didn't have any feelings for the girl in my biology lab!", I tell him.

"What?!" Alex shouted in surprise.

"Yeah!" I told him. "I really do not have any feelings for her!"

"Then why did you lie to me? And why have you been lying to me for so long? Nodding you're head whenever I asked you if the feelings you had for her were the same I had for Rida so that I can conclude if my feelings were real or not!" he exploded all over me. "Dude, I'm so mad at you right now!"

"What was I to do? Douchebag was forcing everyone to tell their secret crush/love/make-out buddy! There was no way he would have let me go. You do know how he is!" I snapped.

"Okay, I get that! But you could have told me later that it was just some stupid lie!", Alex complained.

"I agree. I could have told you. But to be honest, I was more concerned about her. You know how girls are. The moment they find out that some guy is attracted to them, they start distancing themselves. While I have no feelings for her, I enjoyed her company in the biology lab and how well she knew her stuff!", I told him.

Alex did not say anything in response to my latest reply. "Anyways, I told her a few days ago about this lie and we had a laugh over it!", I told him to lighten the mood. He was very surprised that I had managed that bit and was still standing very much in flesh and blood in front of him.

Alex was thinking about something. Whenever Alex was deep in thought, he would cover his mouth with his hand and his eyes would stop in one place. I had seen this face a million times in the past few months. I could read this one like a book. "Okay, so you're not attracted to her. Then who?", he asked.

"Who? Is it really that necessary to be attracted to somebody?" I asked him.

"Well not really! But you're 18, there has to be someone who you must have liked or wanted?!" he poked me again.

"Dude! Very honestly, there's nobody!"

"Nobody in school?"


"Outside school?"



"Ew! No!"

"So you've never been attracted to any girl?"

"Nopes! I have never been attracted to any girl!" I told him looking into his eyes point blank.

"I don't believe you! You don't trust me and that's why you are not telling me!" Alex argued.

"I trust you! I honestly do, but I have never been attracted to girls!" I tried explaining him. Although I seemed very composed at that time inside I felt like someone had turned me into a liquid mess.

"Then what? Do you like guys?" Alex blasted.

"Is that so bad?"

"What? To like guys?", Alex asked. "Obviously, it's weird! Really really weird!"

I completely flipped at his reaction and in a blind flash of anger I exploded "Newsflash my friend, your best friend for the past 2 years happens to like guys!"

I can't possibly complete the entire event without boring you, also I'm quite literally shaking all over my body right now. I will be posting the next part in a two or three days. Thanks for reading!!


M@rvin said...

Aw, take care. You left us hanging (no!:-), but hope you feel better soon. Coming out is intense, even thinking about it in the past sometimes.

You've got guts, I would have never been able to do this in high school, or for that matter, even undergrad.

Aaron Khan said...

u hav BAD writing skills! I HATE cliffhanger! u better email me d rest of d part today or i will come there n bite ur head off!!! :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

I'm sorry fr the pause...but it was getting way too long...i thought u guys would get bored!! :p

I don't it took guts...only adrenaline! ;)

@ Aaron Khan

Bite me! :p

Whimsical said...

wtf! like, WTF! (yes, this 'seeda saadha baccha' can 'employ' profanity too!). you cannot, absolutely CANNOT have cliffhangers! boo hoo!

P.S: Now, forget me being abusive (after all, you being a mere child!) and be done with the other part (and don't you be evil Mr.! No more fragmenting this story into more parts!) already asap- a humble request from this die-hard fan of your blog :-p

Phunk Factor said...

@ Whimsical

I'll be putting the rest up very very soon...that's a promise!! :D

N ur not a die-hard fan...to be that I need to be a celeb..i'm just an every-day normal teenage(I wish) boy living his life to the best he can on his own terms!

And no...that's me being 'me'..not modest! :p

Haider Ali said...

I start shivering the moment someone questions me about my crushes or asks me if I'm gay, mostly when someone asks me if I'm gay.

And I think I'll never be able to bring to confess to my best friend about my gayness! :/

Whimsical Hatter said...

‎'lone expanses'...ouch! again, a wonderful narration, so vivid and yet non-verbose- I can see you guys walking around and you saying 'newsflash' et al...
and 'are we going into the awesome/creative writer-mode'?!... paralleling the surroundings with your innate feelings?!(hint- 'lone expanses' to 'closet'.. you get the drift, na?! or am I just imagining these.. yes, my lab-work these days is non-existent,hence...).. oh, please, write a book already!!!!

P.S: No, I 'm not trying to flatter yo, to get your pants unzipped!!!

Andrea Almanza said...

I agree w Aaron, it wasn't boring at all, and I don't like cliffhangers either. :)

Jai Verma said...

You stopped the narration as if in a soap episode!! Write Part II soon. I still remember how i came out to my best friend few years back! Write soon Phunky!!

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

His reaction is what most people think, and especially at that age, the one good thing is that he did not get violent as many do.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Haider Ali

I get that feeling! Someone very close to me has asked me a few times if I am gay...and everytime I get the shivers...I can't tell him that I'm gay...at least not yet!

@ Whimsical (again)

The 'lone expanses' was a reference to empty school ground! Wild horses won't be able to drag Alex into my closet! :p

About the book....maybe..but not about my life! :p N yes...i kno..ur such a seeda saadha shareef bacha who wouldn't dare try such a thing! :D

@ Andrea Almanza

Sorry, girl! The next part will be up very soon!

@ Jai Verma

If I had continued, don't u think it would have been very very long? O_o

And btw..congratulations on coming out to ur bestfriend! Hope it went well fr u..if not awesome!

@ Sebastian G. Oliver

Totally! He didn't get violent...and I can't say enough to thank him for that! :)

THUNDERCAT832 said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! *pulls out hair* That's my real hair too...no weaves! Cliffhangers get me off, but make me bald! lol

Work it blog bro!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Thundercat832

No no...don't pull out ur hair! I'll be blogging the rest very very soon...promise!

Mind Of Mine said...

Oh, you left us hanging.

I hope in time he comes to understand it and you.

I think the 'It's weird' might just be a knee jerk thing.

Samuel Khan said...

will come out to ma diAry someday . . . but its like welcumin proBlemz , wat if sumone reAds it . . .
so i'd rather come out to ma shAdow tomorrow . . . hehehehe

Phunk Factor said...

@ Mind of Mine

Probably! Later even I felt that at the age of 18 coming to kno tht ur bf is gay is very harsh....but in all context, he took it better than most would have!

@ Samuel Khan;

Diary is SOOOOOO 2001!! U shud do wat my friend does....he emails his 'problems' and 'confessions' to a separate email address that he doesn't tell nebody! :p

I just keep wondering wat if he forgets the username or password! Lord, that'll be a real wreck!

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