Jan 29, 2011

Single Daddies (Put Your Hands Up)

Back in October I did a post on my desire to become a father someday, regardless of my sexuality. Those who do not remember or have not read it, can do so now!

I can't begin to describe how over-whelming the response was and how it was one of the Most Read posts on my blog for a good three months. Right at the time I did the post, I also made a poll asking my readers if they believed that single guys could pull off fatherhood regardless of their sexuality. The poll closed yesterday and I can very honestly say that I am happy at the results.

A total of 100 votes came in, and 'Yes' exceeded 'No' by a total number of 63 votes. Wow!

There are alot of people out there who believe that single guys can become fathers and raise children just as well as married couples. Being a single father is a big deal, obviously they have to fill in the role of both the father and the mother. Can it be challenging?

You betcha!

The roles of both, the father and the mother, vary greatly in the upbringing of children. This holds specially true for the Eastern society, where the wife is responsible for what goes on regarding the children in the house and the father is responsible for the matters pertaining to the child outside the house. Single fathers have to wear both the apron and the business suit. Can I pull it off?

I do believe I can. Also people around me who know me well say that they feel I will be a great dad. To me, this is a far better compliment than anything else - even "Wow! You've lost alot of weight!".

My kids will be my pride and joy. As pompous and stereotypical as this sounds, I feel I will be more happy being a father than being some guy's partner. As a father figure I feel that, I would do so much better and a more fulfilling job. The role of a father is the one thing I know I can pull off amazingly!

I'll be posting another article soon, probably sometime early next month on something related to babies and there maybe another poll up soon.

What do you have to say? Do you agree with the results? Do you think you can be a single father?

To all those who took the time out to submit their vote, whatever it was; I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Thanks alot!


Jack, if you are still reading my blog, I'd really like to hear a response from you and I'd like to ask you a few questions as well. Please do leave your email address in a comment - I will not be accepting it or you can send me a mail. 



M@rvin said...

Yay for kids! Me too, wanna have kids. I need to stop being such a slut first, though. :)

Two things in your post:

"My role will be more acceptable in the society and I will feel much better displaying awesome report cards and the growth scale rather than pictures of holidays in faraway exotic places." - OK, I know that's not what you meant, but this is not a reason to have kids.

"You betcha!" - Now you sound like Sarah Palin! Do you want to bring your kids up in Alaska? :)

Is that photo from Dexter? Loved the guy as David in Six Feet Under.

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

Maybe I worded it incorrectly...but I meant that as a father figure I would feel more blessed and fulfilled as compared to being some guy's partner/boyfriend/live-in husband/ blah blah blah!

Does that make it better?

And I say 'You Betcha' alot...and I hate Palin uses it so much as well...it's kinda habitual now...bt i gotta correct it!

ANd yea..the photo is from Dexter...Michael has done such an awesome job playing Dexter! It's one of my favorite tv shows! :D

M@rvin said...

Phunks, I was just pulling your leg. "You betcha!" actually sounds very folksy and cute. :)
Dexter has way too much gore for me. Funny considering I watched 5 seasons of Oz... Maybe it was just the gay prison sex that kept me going there LOL.

Raj said...

I wanna be a daddy too but it would be much better with some-one by my side.Phunk! if we don't find anybody we could totally do it together.Have play-dates as well with our kids ;).Also,Marvin could join us too but it is very likely he'll find some-one who'll appreciate his sluty ways :P
@Marvin-You see Michael as david and we see him as dexter.Its generation gap you know :P
P.S-couldn't help myself from rubbing that in your face LOL

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

Folksy? :o

So now I sound old....u really can't giv me a nice compliment? :p

Makhmal may joota marna koi aap say seekhay! ;)

@ Raj

Cool @ play-dates! M@rvin already goes on play dates....just not the kiddie kind! :p

We love pulling M@rvin's legs! :D

Aaron Khan said...

Although daddyhood isnt for me, i do support single dads. it will b tough. but hey, if its nt tough, it aint gud ;)

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

I say go for it, its not something that I have ever desired even if I were straight I don't think I would, but, you seem like its something that would make you happy and I think you would be a great dad. My parents would love this, they have 5 boys and only 2 have kids and no one else wants any, so, they have 3 grandchildren, which they are not too pleased with.

Now, is it acceptable in your part of the world to be a single dad?

Whimsical said...

Child, you just made me *yearn* more for all that 'baby jazz'!...
I have already started lurking around two more 'mommy blogs' ..
ay vey!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Aaron Khan

Exactly....besides this is something I really wanna do!

Thanks fr supporting single dads!

@ Sebastian G. Oliver

Hahahaha....i kno exactly what u said abt ur parents! I'm not even married yet..nor do I plan to...bt my mum has already thought of everything from names to educational plans....there is a saying in our part of the world tht although the parents love their children more than anything in the world, but once their child's child is born.....the grandchild becomes even more precious than the child!

About my part of the world....a later post very soon InshAllah! :)

@ Whimsical

OMG! I'm totally in love with how u comment...it's so materal!

P.S. Maybe it's time to stop reading all the mommy blogs and hop on to some daddy blogs.....just saying! ;)

Eklctc said...

Good for you!

There is no reason why society should believe a single person, in general, cannot be a good parent to a child/children, regardless of their orientation.

If it takes a look around, I would argue that the majority of our children who have been raised by biological parents have been raised by single parents. Raising children, to me, has never been a dual responsibility even when both parents are present in the home. Also, many times, the presence of two parents still doesn't make much of a difference.

As a single mother who has raised boys and girls without the help of a male figure, I believe a single man is just as capable. Regardless if we are men or women, we all still need a well-rounded approach to raising a child so you are just as capable as I am.

I think the opportunity is even greater now that there are so many resources available for people with children to educate themselves on raising them. You can fully prepare for a child long before you ever have one. Of course, I am of the belief that no amount of books can teach you how to be a successful parent but they can help you form a mental foundation of how you would like it to look and you can tweak it along the way once you do have a child to raise.

Thanks for the post.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Eklctc

Wow!! Thanks for the awesome response!

Ur words are totally encouraging....and do make alot of sense!

About the parenting books...well they're books...bt I do agree that they give a good mind-set to start the whole process!

M@rvin said...

Ha ha, Raj and Phunks, you guys are awesome! Yup, you young 'uns probably never watched Remington Steele or the Wonder Years on TV. You missed out. :-P

Phunks, you said you like pulling my legs... Which ones, the two I use to walk, or the other one that I use on my play dates? ;-)

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

If u srsly hav a third leg...hubba hubba...where have u been all my life? ;)

Derric said...

You will make a great Dad


Woo hoo! I give it up to single dads! There doesn't have to be a vagina in the picture for a child to be WELL taken care of!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

InshaAllah! I've got my fingers crossed on this one, man!

Nothing else would make me happier!

@ Falen

Hahahaha....i love the way u rock it out!

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