Jan 8, 2011

No Girls Allowed

I rarely remember the things that come in my dreams, but what I dreamt of last night I shall never be able to forget. Before you start thinking that it was one of the most amazing dreams I could ever have where I was making out the hottest guy anyone could imagine, let me stop you!

I was not dreaming about a guy. I was not dreaming about ANY guy. Infact I was dreaming about a girl. Yes, I had my first ever wet dream involving a girl. However I also think it will be my last. Want to know why?


My brain doesn’t like it when I dream about girls. The dislike is to such an extent that it sabotages my dreams, so that they become living nightmares. I’m not kidding you! When I woke up in the morning today, I rechecked my surroundings to see if life was still the same as it was when I went to sleep. Yeah, my brain totally kicked my first female wet dream’s ass.

It started out innocent enough. I was laying next to this blonde chick. I do not find blondes attractive. I admit I like my guys with paler shades of hair. But I prefer females in shades of rich brunettes, kind of like Hillary Duff. I loved her Dignity era make-over. Anyhow back to my dream. Strangely enough, she couldn’t speak English or Urdu. We were talking in some weird sign language. Could she be Russian?

If so, oh man! Loosing virginity to a Russian woman would be so cool. Who manages their first time with Russian lass?!

Well except Russian lads, that is! :p

So we were laying on the bed, at first just some talking going on. Eventually it moves to us getting undressed and we get on with the dirty deed. So I’m on her and basically doing everything a man does to a woman. We’re kissing! We’re love biting! We’re running our hands through each other’s hair which by the way is completely awesome! We’re humping, or I’m humping and she’s getting humped! And…my parents burst into the room!

WTF! WTF! WTF!

I can’t begin to recall how many explicit wet dreams I’ve had involving guys and not a single one of them has ever been interrupted by my parents. Not a single one!

“What the hell are you doing?”, my mom screams.

“What are you doing here?”, I reply back.

“We came to check on if you were studying or sleeping!”, my dad responds.

“Get out! Get out!”, I start shouting. Thankfully I wrapped the sheet around myself and her, even my dreams self is extremely self-conscious.

I push them out of the room and follow them out, still in sheets. “What the heck were you doing?”, my mom asks again.

“What does it look I was doing?”

“Why the hell were you having sex?” my dad asks.

“I wanted to know if I can have sex with a woman even though I’m gay!” I scream.

Your gay?!” they respond in unison.

I don’t remember exactly what happened after that, but I recall some more fighting taking place and me screaming out of this huge castle tower, “I’m gay! I’m gay!”, I do believe my parents did something like locking me up there.

I woke up from it all with this weird spinning feeling in my head. I looked around and about to see where I was. For a moment I thought it had really happened and I buried myself in blankets. But then I remembered that I have a presentation due today and realized I have to get my butt to college by 9AM.  

Whew! I’m still in the closet!

I lay back and recalled the entire dream. I don’t know why but I just did it, and then I erupted into snorting laughter. So it’s settled now, I’m meant to be gay. If I try to be straight, my brain will sabotage me and ruin whatever I am trying to do. Guess I’m stuck with guys!

Sorry girls! You have to count me out. My mind is reserving me a guys!

19 comments:

FALEN AKA THUNDERCAT832 said...

Oh damn I'm not alone in this one! I had a dream the other day that I was with a woman! A big breasted white woman and I was going down on her! Grossed me the hell out..but with a little research I found out that the dream (even though it was sexual) are only symbolic. For me, the girl in my dream meant that I'm gonna go on an adventure that I had no choice about. Meaning I was going to have to do something that I didn't wanna do, but was gonna be great for me.

Do a little dream research and see what you get out of it.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Falen

I hope it's not some prediction of how I will come out to my parents! :p

I'll chck it out though!

Indie-underground-Gay said...

lol, screaming your head off from the top of a castle tower!!!
being out of the closet is not THAT bad you know. You should see my straight guy frinds faces whenever random girls just hug and get all over me....lol....and i go like 'in your face bitches!!'

Phunk Factor said...

@ Indie-Undergroud-Gay

It's not...i do wanna come out...but just not like that! :p

LOL @ ur str8 friend's reaction

Girls are attracted to us like bees to honey!

M@rvin said...

If my parents walked in on me having sex, I'd pull the sheets over to cover up body parts, but I'd still finish getting fucked - it's only fair to my hookup to get what he came for! :)
Most of my bad dreams have me standing trial in court for some random offense, for some reason.

Phunk Factor said...

@ M@rvin

LOL! Only you can do something like that....the rest of us would sh*t in our pants! :p

Is it for inappropriate display? ;)

Haider Ali said...

Hahaha! Reminds me of a dream I had last year! :D

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

That would have been a NIGHTMARE that would have had me screaming so loud it would have woke up the whole block! I have never had such a dream, thank goodness! I like men, dark, swarthy ones the most and a blond woman would literally make me sick to my stomach!

And, one nosey question, do you always have such vivid dreams?

Phunk Factor said...

@ Haider Ali

Well you know what they say...smart minds dream alike! ;)

@ Sebastian G. Oliver

Thhat's nothing! When I was committed to Nathan, I kept having these dreams about him having black wings....so either that could mean I imagined him as a fallen angel OR a stripper! :p

♫Hershey's Kiss♫ said...

Wow interesting. I'm openly gay. I haven't had a wet dream about a woman in years. I'm gay and family thought they could out me, but everyone already knew. It could be that you deal with the fact that you're in the closet per say I don't know.

Westopher said...

I once had a dream in which I was the woman, which was weird enough, but then some dude banged me on the front lawn in broad daylight. I still remember my dream self worrying about getting grass stains.

Phunk Factor said...

@ ♫Hershey's Kiss♫

My first one ever....and my brain f*cked it up! :p

@ Westopher

Hahahaha....sounds hot...at least u got done! :p

Thanks fr dropping by, guys!

Derric said...

Lol.... some onhas been watching too many movies.......

The dream has got a very deeper meaning dude.
Hey ma be its for you to open that closet door, and a girl is going to be reason for it.....meaning its marriage time..lol

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

No way am I getting married before you and M@rvin! :p

M@rvin said...

Phunks, don't give my mom ideas. The way she has been pestering me to find a BF lately, I wouldn't put it past her to put an ad in the Sunday marriage classifieds asking for a groom for me.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Marvin

Hehehe...M@rvin baby, can I hav ur mumsie darling's contact number? ;)

Derric said...

Hey i even hum (a minor yes) to my mom, i am sure ill find my snaps flashing on those matrimonial sites..... no babes dont want to do all those deep breaths

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

I won't let her go that far....wen that time comes, I'm gonna totally say 'no!'..it'll be hurtful to both of us...bt it's better than gng ahd with it and building a fantasy tht actually a nightmare!

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