Nov 5, 2010

Youarenotgettingany@yahoo.com

Last week I was being repeatedly messaged by a 51 year old guy on my Facebook profile. He had a gay profile on Facebook and was browsing the various group for a booty call. He had posted a few pictures of himself trying to seem seductive but in reality, he was taking the term Hot Mess to a whole new level. Besides the fact that he was browsing Online for sex, there were two things fundamentally wrong with his profile.

Firstly he was married, it was clearly displayed on his profile. Secondly he was looking for guys younger than 25, especially 'young' and 'yummy' teenagers. Yes!, those were his exact words, although the word 'young' was mis-spelled. One look at his profile and he was immediately cast into the deepest corners of my rejected pile.

He messaged me a few times asking stuff like what's my age, where do I live, what position do I prefer, what do I prefer more; long-term relations or one night stands and then some more. Was it annoying?

Hell Yes!

It was incredibly annoying. I kept on responding to him as nicely as I could manage, only answering the questions that I felt were appropriate. I told him clearly that I am only interested in meeting like minded guys and nothing else. When he didn't object to that, I proceeded to ask him a couple of questions. I wasn't really interested but was just trying to make a conversation. It turned out that he had his own business which was doing quite well, or so he told me. He had three children of which the eldest was about 5 younger than me. My mind clicked immediately and I realized that he's searching for guys that are roughly the age of his eldest child. I sort of lost it after that and wanted to lash out really bad at him. This was so bloody disgusting!

I guess he got busy after that or something, he did not message me again until much later in the night. Still not having picked up on my signs of dislike, he asked for my email address. Not wanting another freak on my hands, I planned to reject his offer. But then in another brilliant flash, I decided to play a little joke on him. I told him my email address is youarenotgettingany@yahoo.com.

Hoping to have finally gotten rid of him, I settled into watching Gossip Girl with a glass of milk. Five minutes I got a message from him saying so very innocently, "Dear, that address is not working".

I laughed so hard that I sprayed a good part of the keyboard and the monitor with milk. And I didn't stop laughing. Was he playing dumb?, I wondered. But I didn't care to find out if that was really the case. Also I had a milk droplet coated monitor and keyboard to clean.


Some people just don't get it! Heavens bless them! Whoever said that there is a sucker born every minute,  certainly knew what he or she was talking about. I know it was incredibly mean of me to pull that crazy stunt but some people just don't get it when I tell them to stay away. You literally need to beat them away with a stick!

I didn't respond to him after that but I am kind of curious as to if he is going to be messaging me again. Wonder what email address can I give him next time?.

Suggestions are welcome!

13 comments:

Mind Of Mine said...

Why engage if he was so disgusting too you?

Completely passive agressive, an interesting read all the same.

FALEN AKA THUNDERCAT832 said...

give him this one: uzayestewpidfock@yahoo.com (you'z a stupid fuck tee he he) He should get the point then! ;)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Mind of Mine

I didn't know about the kid bit till I started talking to him....i told him face-on tht I am interested in friendship only...he said he's down with that...but i've talked to men like these before....they're down with friendship...later on wen u hav handed out ur contact info...they start getting clingy!! Not pretty!!

@ Falen

LOL!!! Hahahah...good one!! Will do! :D

Samuel Khan said...

lolzzz . . . very well etched out . . . that milk on the pc thingy had me in splits ( care to share how ya Pc used up the calcium :-P ) . . . thank God , i neva had to face such circumstancez , lucky me , alwayz had the best amongst best on ma fb friendz list . . .

M@rvin said...

I'm down with hot older guys up to maybe 45ish... After that, the age difference is just creepy. Older guys who sound upbeat and 'youthful' do exist, but some just reminisce about the 70's and 80's and sound old - that's a turn off.

And hey, add me to your gay Facebook profile! I'm only 27 and promise not to creep you out!

wajahat said...

hahaha had a look throug allof your blog couldn't stop laughing uptill now...
Uffhh you are such a heart break kid =P
and secondly he is married n doing these king of shit yukh arghhh.. such fuckin** bitches they are..
well give him the mail..
fuckinbitchzindamarket@yahoo.com =P =D

Phunk Factor said...

@ Samuel Khan

Lucky you!!! :p

@ M@rvin

I'm done with till 35 yr olds now! I know there are some who have abit of a younger mindset but he had a completely differnt thing that was a turn-off!!!

Sure...i'd love to!!! However I don't know how to get a hold of you! :p

@ Wajahat

Heartbreak kid? :o

Hahaha...I like that!!! I really do!

wajahat said...

hahaha thanks thanks phunky...
you are heart break kid.. =P

▬╡νι¢кソ╞▬ said...

Hi Phunk...
This wasnt very interesting. Infact, hard to associate any good qualities with it, except for your flawless narration.
Best of luck for the next post.

Phunk Factor said...

@ ▬╡νι¢кソ╞▬

I'm really looking fwd to a day where you pick some flaw in my writing! No kidd'in!

Mind Of Mine said...

@Vick and Phunk....

Freekin Hilarious!!

Derric said...

OMG, i almost woke up my collegue sleeping near me, laughing my guts off. How dumb can people get. He sounds like a sicko, hey how do you filter and attract weidos....lol

takecare

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

How do I filter and attract weirdos?

Ummm....good question..i don't know myself!! I guess it's my awesome looks! ;)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...