Nov 21, 2010

Dark Magic of Cyberspace

Sine the last few days I have been contemplating about my existence in the Online world. I can't ignore the awesome people I have met through Internet and I cherish the bond I have developed with them. From what started with a simple exchange of messages extended to chats on messengers and web-cam chats, from there I even indulged in a few phone conversations with them. Somewhere along the way we both revealed ourselves to each other and added each other on to our 'straight' profiles. Even now that I have left Orkut and I'm still in touch with them on my Facebook profile, the straight one. So have I ever gone wrong?

Yes! Hell yes!

I know earlier on I said I haven't gone wrong. But then the more I thought about it, I did realize I did make a few errors in believing some people. I have trusted a few people so blindly and been led on a wild goose chase that makes me want to smack myself across the head.

When you are Online, you are already existing behind a veil as you want to keep your identity a secret. Since nobody actually knows the person, this veil that they create can be fashioned in any possible matter. You can sell it anyway you want to. Say just about anything and somebody out there will believe you! Now I'm not talking about things like age, height, weight, eye color, body hair, marital status and stuff like that. I don't even care about all that except for age and marital status. I avoid people older than 40 or lower than 18, and also married ones. Older than 40 because I feel the age difference is too much and younger than 18 because very often these teenagers are completely ridiculous. Married people get ticked off my list because I feel if they are still furthering their gay agendas without their wives knowing it, I am assisting them in some form of cheating. I'm no Saint in any way. I have my share of vices but getting involved between two married people is not one of them.

But lying about things like your past is a complete no-no. Creating fake boyfriends or fake boyfriends with deadly diseases is a complete deal breakers. I once got to know this guy and developed a really solid bond with him, but later on when he confessed that the whole boyfriend was fake and now that he has one for real he feels he needs to come clean I didn't know what to do. He asked for forgiveness and everything which I had no problem, but then I felt like I didn't know the person. If he lied and created an entire fictional being out of thin air, what are the chances that he hasn't lied about other things as well?

I liked him. I genuinely liked him. Would I have not liked him if he did not have a rough experience in his past? No! I still would have opened up to his genuine friendship. I still would have talked to him. I still would have talked with him on the phone.

Another big alarm raiser is fake playing a sexual assault. Why? To gain sympathy? Of who? People you will most probably not meet no matter how well you get to know them! It's bull shit! Why do something like that? The person who when played this card, I felt bad for him. Child abuse is something I feel very strongly about. It's a horrible horrible thing. I would rather wish death upon a person than child abuse, but in reality I won't do either.

Later on when I got to know how all the incidents I knew about him were false and he led a perfectly happy childhood, I exploded internally. I wanted to shake him and ask him why do a crazy thing like that?. People who have actually gone through it are scarred for life and to just act like that to melt people's hearts and get their instant 'like' status is simply horrible. Never ever play the victim card, especially if you are not the victim. Whether it's the Online world or the real one, doesn't matter. Crap like that can bite you back in the ass really bad. Needless to say, I stopped talking to him after that incidence and he probably got the message as well.

Another reason why it's plain stupid to trust someone blindly because you may never know what they're up to. One thing I would never ever do is snap myself nude, even if I don't intend to share it. I'm not snapping myself in my birthday suit. But supposedly even if you have done it, think a million times before showing them to anybody else. They could forward that little email containing you suffering from Mileyitis (Mileyitis is the disease which causes people to self-snap themselves nude or in less than required amount of clothing in extremely embarrassing positions) to other people or worse pretend to be you and get another person's Mileyitis snaps.

My blunder is Sam. Honestly speaking, I never ever planned to talk about Sam on the blog because it makes me look like a complete jackass. But to every story there are two sides and if somebody can learn a lesson from my flukes than I'd be more than happy. However there is a nice little background to this tale and I can't put it down all here. But I will be posting about it after my exams.

The Online world is a good place to be, especially when around you there lies all this confusion and doubt. It's a great place if you are searching for some answer and you can't find the answers from those around you. There are nice people who may possibly genuinely help you find some peace of mind. But there are also those who prey upon the clueless and those who are more slippery than snakes, these are the ones you have to watch out for and avoid. Where a person only exists as a part of himself, he can create just about anything and have you sink in to it faster than a tropical quicksand sucks it's helpless victim.

I can't separate myself from the fact that it was this Online world which gave me an amazing friend like Christian and a wonderful lover like Nathan. But facts can't be ignored and they certainly can't be changed. If you exist in this place, take every step carefully. While it's a relaxing place to be in never ever let it detach you from your real life. I could have gotten detached had it not been Ryan who keeps me pulled back and keeps me on track. Another thing I have to thank him for!


I have my exams from next week so I won't be posting regularly till mid December, perhaps even later. So I won't be dropping by your blogs as often as I do now but once there are over I promise everyone will be getting a large dose of Phunk - whether they like it or not! But right now, it's time to get my nerd-mode on!



wajahat said...

well i agree with you completely it was now called a hats awf perfomance hugs to you for this..
Umm nextly best of luck for exams..
n i think my idea should be expressed as well;; .. =P =P

Raj said...

I Think I know who you are talking about.Sorry its totally irrelevant to the blog but you were supposed to tell me some stuff.I hope I catch you online soon enough (before I head to India,if I do this dec).You know I need to know.
Now as for relevance-
Well I agree its a bad bad world out there and there are some loonies who do things for no apparent reason.I m sure by now you ve learnt to weed them out :)
I think everyone is naive when they enter this world but we all have our lessons to learn the hard way!

dating diva said...

Putting yourself out there on the internet can be scary. I've found that out through online dating. It's hard to know how much you can really trust someone you've never met, but at the same time it's such an interesting experience to get to know someone when it's not face to face. I hope your exams go well!


Mike said...

The online world is pretty crazy. It seems a lot like real life and you take the information with a grain of salt. I know that I am honest and straightforward- it is a documentation of my life for the last 3+ years. It has been pretty tumultuous at times, but I know that I have become a stronger person.

Good luck with your exams this next week!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Wajahat

Thanks fr the wishes and the compliment!! I still have to do the post you talked about....i'm hoping to get to it after the exams....have a rough draft bt it isn't all that great!

@ Raj

Yes, we'll have that talk sometime soon....hopefully!!! I don't recall u bumping into ne bad...but then u found awesome ppl like me n Christian so u didn't need anybody else! :p ;)

@ Dating Diva

Thanks fr the wishes! :)

Interesting isn't something that I often come across...but wen I do, it's amazing!

@ Mike

Blogging is a completely different story....but interaction online is different....thanks fr the wish! :)

Sebastian G. Oliver said...

Very insightful thoughts on cyber "friends." From the jump, you have to protect yourself as many will not be upfront about anything, but, that said, there are many who are. The thing I have found is lots of MARRIED men on the prowl, that is what bores me, and a few with scams that are as old as time from certain places.

You really have a way of speaking from your heart with openness and honesty, which is really refreshing.

wajahat said...

haha thank you my pleasure..

Phunk Factor said...

@ Sebastian G. Oliver

Exactly! You have both just know how to filter thru them!!!

Married men...hmmm...they've got a bad reputation for themselves largely!

Thanks fr the compliments, man!

@ Wajahat



oh boo I have been through this so many times! I have come across so many people who create other lives for themselves on line. it's such a trip to me!

I can't stand liars! People should just dish out the truth and at least give us the option to eat it!

M@rvin said...

So true, guys that lie about abuse and loss are terrible people who have not only obviously never experienced either, but also cannot even empathize with those who might have. I'd go so far as to say that this is a mild sociopathic tendency, stay away, yikes!

Best of luck for your exams! If I was religious, I'd pray for you. :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Falen

It doesn't make sense, right?!

@ M@rvin

I didn't think of it as a sociopathic tendency but to play the sympathy act is absolutely disgusting...and yes, i did stay away!!

Thanks fr the wish!!

Colleen said...

Sadly, the cyber world is a way for a lot of people to escape their drab lives. It's a shame because it's such an awesome way to meet some truly fantastic people. Some of us are our real selves and I believe we all naturally navigate to each other. Well, Phunk, go get your nerd on. I'll miss you. Get us all caught up when you're back.

Derric said...

Hey, frankly speaking the name Sam has kinda taken me off the balance, hope its not the one we both know.

Anyways as for the cyberworld, yes its a virtual world.There is possiblity that most of it is fake, may be people are trying to crerat an entire different image for themselves to find comfort. But frankly speaking, i dont get why do people have to, after all the probablity of meeting a virtual friend and that too if its LDR is meager. As always there is good and bad to the same.

All the best for your exams

Phunk Factor said...

@ Colleen

Aww...thanks, Colleen!!! Yeah...i'm itching to post but I can't...haven't gotten ANY time at all!!

@ Derric

No, man...the Sam we both know is awesome and not the one I plan on blogging about! Calm down!

Thanks fr the wishes!

H said...

I think every mistake is just a stepping stone. Every stupid move you make is just an opportunity to learn. Yes I know I sound like a cheap motivational book, but I actually realise now, that this is true.

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Phunk Factor said...

@ H I know how to navigate myself much better!

Thanks fr dropping by!! :)

@ Jet

Thanks! Hope every single day is like a Christmas for you too!


Wow Phunk. This is exactly why I to try start people out with zerotrust and let them build from there. I use to give 100% but slowly learned not too. Thanks for being open enough to share your cautionary has reminded me of how to go forward and I know it will help others.

Good luck on your exams!!!!!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Toy Couture

Same here, man! Now I'm cautious...if I think it's too rude to ask them direct upfront..i sneak up in a conversation somewhere and see if the information handed out matches!


I'm weird!

Thanks! :)

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