Being closeted means you intend to keep you being gay a secret from the society. We tend to regard our privacy very highly. Some of us keep it so close-guarded that we draw a clear line that distinguishes the two identities completely, revealing it to a selected few only. Violation of this strict code leads to a crisis, an identity crisis
I have a few of my gay friends on my Facebook account. I have always had some, even when Orkut was all in rage. If at some point I decide to leave the entity of Phunk Factor behind in the shadows I still want the amazing friends I have made to be with me. But if you stalk my contacts to find out about Nathan I will not be pleased. Recently someone attempted it and was successful. When he told me about his recent discovery, I was in shock but I came clean trusting him. Clearly a stupid move on my part. My damage control abilities suck like that of my government.
So this dude, I know he means no harm. I've talked to him on several occasions and he's definitely fun to talk to. His strategy put me in an uncomfortable position but I let it go. Nathan should know about this, I thought. But during those days he was busy with some problems of his own and he didn't have a stable net connection. I didn't want to trouble him, so I kept mum. Another stupid move on my part! Time passed and this critical detail got lost in the background. Two days ago it surfaced. The result?!
Three words; Hell broke loose!
At that point, absolutely nothing would calm Nathan down. To say that he was pissed would be an understatement. I really couldn't object, he had every right to be express all those emotions he was feeling. His closely guarded secret was in the knowledge of a complete stranger. While I did trust the new kid, Nathan barely knew him. He didn't care at that moment about anything else. All he could think about was that his privacy had been violated.
I had no option but to support him, and I did. I counseled the best I could, gave him space when he needed it and kept my guard up for any signs of activity from him. Five hours later, Nathan's Facebook profile was but a shell of it's former glory. He had taken down all his pictures and personal details, it was like there was this profile who happened to have the same address as that of Nathan but it wasn't Nathan. I felt like someone had just pulled my insides out.
He lost his memories and I lost my little window into his life. Nathan's friends have no idea about me or of his being gay. He's closeted, more than me. I got a few people around me who know that I'm gay, he's got just one. While I was added, I rarely showed any activity. However I did enjoy reading the comments he got on his pictures and all that other kooky stuff that happens on Facebook. Now I can't do it and I probably never will. He's not sure about having me on the ID anymore, but he's not sure about this decision either. He fears that more people would break into his life. What am I doing?
I'm supporting him where I can and plan to give him advice if I got something good enough. Nothing concrete yet, we both are still working out what we should do next. Any advice would be welcome!