The WWW has become one of the largest patron of the gay community, it has made everything so easier. From hooking up to buying porn to finding the right one. Gays from all corner are turning to the online world everyday for many different reasons. Whatever their reason maybe, everybody manages to find a good friend to turn to. You can talk all you want but when the time comes to get things heart-to-heart, would you open to just anyone? Would you just go ahead and give anyone your details? Your Facebook profile? The 411 on you?
No, you don't! And you can't! As much as we know that the other person shares the same dark secret as you, you will still do everything to protect yourself. You won't take the first step until your damn sure that it won't come back and bite you in the butt.
I find it extremely hard to trust people. Yes, I am nice. But there is a fine line between being nice and being silly. I can be all warm, friendly and fuzzy but things aren't the same when I'm asked to show my picture or my phone number. I do all that once I'm sure about the other person. When I share number and stuff, I'm opening a new door through which I can be reached. So I need to know that he's not some crazy psycho. Congratulations to all those who passed the test! :p
But all this could have never really started until someone trusted me and showed me how to trust. Trusting someone you meet everyday is alot different from trusting someone you meet online everyday. It's very different. And I would have never really learned to trust had it not been for Christian!
We started talking and we really didn't share that much. But it felt friendly and nice, I never really expected to get along with him because he was like the demi-god in the Gay Community of Orkut and I was a recently hatched. We exchanged dozens of scraps (Very similar to wall-posts on FaceBook) and got to know about each other. The conversation somehow shifted to names we like.
"Ryan is one of my all time favorites!", I commented in that annoying chirpy-salesman attitude of mine, which if anybody gives me nowadays I'd punch them in the face.
"You know, my name is actually pretty close to Ryan!", Christian commented. "Very similar!", he told me.
"That's cool!", I commented. I didn't feel that it was appropriate to ask for his name, which would mean that I would have to do the same. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, I did by now. But he's him and I'm me, we're miles apart and very different people. And then without my asking, he told me his real name. That was the ice-breaker. I had known him for just a few weeks but I felt comfortable with him. He could be a really good friend of mine. And then without any hesitation I told him mine.
"Do you mind if I add you to my straight ID on Orkut?", he asked. We were all pretty closeted back then, and we still are. But from one gay to another, we were just opening cabinets.
"Sure! I think that would be really cool!", I told him. Then he gave me the link and we extended our hands one more and brought ourselves closer together. We were friends then and we're even better friends now, and I keep having a feel that this is one bond that's a real keeper.
"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."