Jun 22, 2010

Two More Lonely People

How could I say no to that, I'd have to be a real jerk to reject his friendship. He was clearly a nice guy and maybe we did make a wrong move by getting committed. Just because most of his interests were same as mine, it didn't necessarily mean that we could be together. But being friends with an ex, I'm not comfortable with the idea. At all!

The last time I tried that, I didn't turn out really well. I ran face first into a wall and crumbled to a million pieces. That guy ended our friendship claiming that he's doing it for my own good and that's it not healthy because I still have feelings for him. I'll be posting about him sometime later perhaps, but ever since then the idea of being friends with an ex doesn't have me jumping up and down with joy. "Friends?", I asked skeptically and slightly in surprise.

"Yeah,", Bruce admitted. "Friends!"

"Define friends?", I ask. That's the typical me. Questions and even more questions, analyzing everything and being super critical. Bruce looked at me puzzled.

He sighed, "Like we were before we started going out. Simply friends! Like you are with all those people on your Orkut account!", he explained.

"But we went too far, don't you think? We've been naked together and we've kissed. Not just pecks, but a proper full-on spit swap!", I reasoned voicing my uncertainties. I had to keep my volume down and look as casual as possible. It's so hard to discuss anything gay in public. He was standing very close to me and I remember staring at his bulging bicep. Though I had broken up with him, I couldn't deny that I was still attracted to him. I ask if we could move to somewhere private. He recommended a near-by cafe.

After settling into a booth, he repeated my reasons to make sure he had gotten them right. He was quiet for a while. I didn't know if it was because he was thinking something or if he had lost the train of thought when the waiter interrupted us asking if we'd like something. "So?", I ask.

"So do you want us to be friends with benefit?", he asked apprehensively. Bruce talking about sex with a apprehension and hesitation, I never thought I'd be around to see that day. I look at him in shock.

Sex with no strings attached, this was literally so tempting. But I knew as much momentarily that would satisfy me, it would later bite me hard in the ass. "No! No! Not at all! No sex, just friends!" I replied slowly. Truth be told, as steamy our encounters were he was abit rude in his comments. I didn't say anything then, but I hated it completely. I felt like putting my clothes back on and leaving the scene. Silence reigned, "Look Bruce, you were my first real-time relation and things did get somewhere with you!  I honestly believe that I acted hastily with taking your contact number, asking to meet-up and then meeting up again. I'm sorry that I got you into the mess, as well. If there was a way I could un-do it, I would! Back to the time when there were no creepy pauses in our talks. And not only that but how physical we got in such a short time, it's just really weird! Do you get what I'm trying to say?", I asked.

Crap!, I thought to myself. I sounded like one of those wind-up dolls. I was speaking really fast and my eyes were on the table, fiddling with my cell. It seemed as if I had rehearsed the entire thing.

"It's okay! I get it! No problem!", he remarked. I looked up, he was fixated on his coffee. He didn't seemed pissed by his tone, but there was a certain terse quality to it. A bitter feeling of some sort, I apologized and left. He messaged me a minute or two later asking to delete his number and that he's deleting mine. I guess that's the right way to wipe the slate clean. I remember my heart-beating super fast as I walked to my car. I got a text from Ryan asking how did it go.

"Two more lonely people tonight!", I messaged back. While our relationship ended there and then, but that wasn't the last time Bruce and I crossed paths. Is it me or does drama follow me everywhere I go?


Branden said...

Drama, wat wud life b without it.

and being frends with an ex... always awkward

Johnny said...

Been days since you had posted about Bruce....don't mind me saying this, but it was a nice break to read about someone else besides Nathan!

Peace! :)

Phunk Factor said...

@ Branden

Yea....but still, sometimes the drama gets too much!!

@ Johnny

No offense taken! If you want me to post about any topic in particular, feel free to email me or leave a comment!

raj (orkut) said...

Talk about drama man.
I have two ex gfs and a guy haunting me for "love" which is besides the fact that my straight bff is trying to hook me up with any of his gay friends.(ughh)
I think i should start a blog too..lol
BUt coming back to the point, Like always I loved your post and its HARD being a friend with an ex.
Which reminds me I need some random advice..come online sometime.
and why do you needa worry, you always have nathan.

Phunk Factor said...

@ Raj (Orkut)

Ur str8 bff is hooking you up with his gay friends?? U sure ur bff is straight? :p

Kidd'in, buddy!! N yea, I do come online...i jst have never seen u online! :(

Derric said...

Hey whats life without Drama..ya its true that sometime there are dramatic scenes which takes you to edge.
If the question was to me i would have said yes, and i know the reason too.. me not yet in commited group (though want to)...lol. But i guess its good to move on from broken relationships.......unless you like being naughty,,lol

Phunk Factor said...

@ Derric

I guess...but sometimes being uncomplicated is so much more easy and fun!!

N u'd be friends with an ex? Interesting...however, not my cup of tea!

Anonymous said...

'Ex' are meant to be left in the dust, being friends with an ex is possibly one of the worst decision a person can make, i mean like one of the 'Hall of Fame' ones....glad to know you are alot smarter than you come on as!

Phunk Factor said...

@ Anonymous

Hey..i resent that! I am smart! :p

Kidd'in!! Thnx fr the comment!!

jits said...

wat a freaking coincidence i was thinking about the thing being frnds with an ex .. :O I crossed paths with an ex recently and boy it was uncomfortable. Anyways we shared our numbers once again ;) lets see if there is any friendship left ...

Phunk Factor said...

@ jits

I hope your experience with ur ex goes much better than mine! :)

Thanks fr dropping by!

Dean Grey said...

Phunk Factor!

Friends-with-benefits? Don't you deserve better than that?

I think Bruce did you a favor in the end. Randomly hooking up with an ex serves no purpose other than to get your rocks off.

Again, don't you deserve better than that?


Phunk Factor said...

@ Dean Grey

I never planned to contact him again anyways but I didn't have the courage to tell him to never contact me again!

I was scared that he might create a scene!

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