Dec 31, 2010

Mind Phunk ~ 12/31/10

I know you want me,
I made it obvious that I want you too,
So put it on me
Let's remove the space between me and you,
Now rock your body
Damn I like the way you move,
So give it to me
Cause I already know what you wanna do

- Enrique Iglesias @ "Tonight" ft. Ludacris

Dec 28, 2010

Thank You 2010

We're almost at the end of 2010, just 4 more days left until the new year dawns upon us. Looking back on the whole year, I can truly say that it's been a good year on most parts. I'm thankful for having survived another year, but no matter how much I thank the Guy upstairs I do feel that it won't be enough. I know there have been moments that have forced me doubt His existence and there have been so many times when I gave up on my faith. But something got me through all that, since I can't project this drive on anything else I'll take my hat off for Him.

Dec 25, 2010

On Sexuality

During my 9th Grade, we used to have these Self-Improvement classes. It was a class meant to raise our awareness of our forth-coming responsibility as adults. There was a wide variety of subjects covered in those classes. All were focused on honing our minds, perfecting our bodies and polishing our spirits.

One particular class that I remember even today is the one in which we were explained about our increasing attraction to the opposite sex. Our teacher said this one sentence that will never slip off my memory. "Sexuality plays a very important part in the structuring of our personality!"

Dec 23, 2010

And The Winners Are...

As promised, I'll be handing out the long over-due Blog Awards I received. It felt nice to know that someone (Read: Falen) thought my blog deserved these trinkets of appreciation and I hope to all those that I am passing on will feel the same way. So without wasting anymore time, let's start off with the celebrations.

Dec 19, 2010

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Mrs Cohen is heartbroken. Her son has declared he's gay and intends to move in with his male lover. Mrs Goldblum comes round to comfort her. "Look on the bright side," she says. "He might be sleeping with another man, but at least he's a doctor..."

I read this joke somewhere earlier this week and wanted to share it with my mom. So I copy pasted the joke and emailed it to her - it's a trend with the two of us and also my mom loves getting any sort of mail. Yesterday I happened to remember it and asked her about it. She told me that she had read it and enjoyed it quite alot. To say that I was surprised, would be an understand. I predicted that she would enjoy it but not 'quite alot'. You see anything to do with homosexuality tends to put creases on my mother's forehead immediately.

Dec 17, 2010


Thought it's about time I broke the good news to everyone. I'm officially over Nathan!

I didn't expect it to happen to soon from the way I was sulking the past few months. But slowly and gradually it did get better. And then one morning, I suddenly stopped missing his 'Good Morning' text messages. After that the itch to talk to him and listen to his voice disappeared. The terrible terrible feeling of being hollow on the inside filled itself up. No more Alicia Keys! Bring on Lady GaGa!

We had a great time together. Quite possibly I can say that it was truly the time of my life. But like they say, all good things must come to an end.

Am I mad that our relationship ended?

Dec 16, 2010

The Faithless

We are born. We live. We die. That's what every life that has ever arrived into this world goes through. Except for a few unfortunate ones, the journey is reasonably long. There are moments when things are looking up and we feel like we are on the top of the world. But there are also those moments when we feel we've hit the rock bottom of all rock bottoms. Through the good times and the bad, the one thing that we either thank for or look for is faith. Love connects two souls. Faith connects the soul to it's Creator.

Nov 21, 2010

Dark Magic of Cyberspace

Sine the last few days I have been contemplating about my existence in the Online world. I can't ignore the awesome people I have met through Internet and I cherish the bond I have developed with them. From what started with a simple exchange of messages extended to chats on messengers and web-cam chats, from there I even indulged in a few phone conversations with them. Somewhere along the way we both revealed ourselves to each other and added each other on to our 'straight' profiles. Even now that I have left Orkut and I'm still in touch with them on my Facebook profile, the straight one. So have I ever gone wrong?

Nov 17, 2010

Eid Mubarak

Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters!
Wishing you and your family a very joyful Eid. May His countless blessings be with you on this Eid and may it being comfort, prosperity and happiness into your life.

Once again Eid Mubarak to you and your family. Enjoy!

Nov 15, 2010

Magic of Cyberspace

I was over at Ryan's place yesterday for a group study. It was the two of us with a couple of other friends of mine. We had collected over at Ryan's place because all of his family was away so there would be no disturbances and interruptions. I made sure that some girls were coming before heading over myself. If it's just boys, absolutely no studying gets accomplished and the entire time goes by with us fooling around. Girls have this magical ability to keep the guys in line.

Nov 13, 2010

Not Like The Movies

In my previous post I talked about one of my insecurities, in this post I am going to be telling you about Nathan's biggest insecurity regarding me. Nathan was always surprised at the amount of gays guys I knew, both on and off the Internet.

Nov 8, 2010

Girl Power

Way back before Nathan had met me, there was another person in his life and this person happened to be a girl. Yes, Nathan was mostly gay. Rarely did any girl turn him on, but there was this one girl that managed the seemingly impossible task previously only female celebrities managed. They were a couple for sometime. In fact things were so fantastic between them that they had started planning a life for themselves. Their families were really good friends and everyone was expecting that this one is going to go long and go really good. Unfortunately that wasn't how it turned out. It didn't end smoothly and there was some heavy damage unto Nathan.

Nov 5, 2010

Last week I was being repeatedly messaged by a 51 year old guy on my Facebook profile. He had a gay profile on Facebook and was browsing the various group for a booty call. He had posted a few pictures of himself trying to seem seductive but in reality, he was taking the term Hot Mess to a whole new level. Besides the fact that he was browsing Online for sex, there were two things fundamentally wrong with his profile.

Firstly he was married, it was clearly displayed on his profile. Secondly he was looking for guys younger than 25, especially 'young' and 'yummy' teenagers. Yes!, those were his exact words, although the word 'young' was mis-spelled. One look at his profile and he was immediately cast into the deepest corners of my rejected pile.

He messaged me a few times asking stuff like what's my age, where do I live, what position do I prefer, what do I prefer more; long-term relations or one night stands and then some more. Was it annoying?

Nov 1, 2010

Let Me Do It My Way

I woke up in the middle of last night - again. It's been happening very frequently since the past few days. I get up repeatedly in the middle of the night and take about an hour to fall asleep again. But then my mom wakes me up about two hours later and I groggy for the next couple of hours. I'm completely hating it. Ryan suggested some anti-anxiety pills and sleep medication. I can't begin to tell you how tempting the suggestion seemed, but I have decided not to resort to it. People tend to get addicted to them and become dependent on them for the rest of their life. Yes, it helps for a while. But it's no permanent solution.

I didn't tell him the reason though because it involves Nathan. Lately just about whenever I mention Nathan, he tightens his jaws and looks straight ahead. If I had X-ray vision, I bet I could see him biting his tongue as well. It's caused some fights between the two of us and I really don't have the energy to fight him on it anymore, especially after the fight today. Maybe I don't need to tell him. Given how well he knows me, I have a feeling he may already have some idea about it.

Oct 31, 2010

A Little Understanding Please

I was chatting yesterday to this black dude from Los Angeles on my Facebook. He had read a few of my comments from various notes around the place and actually liked them quite alot. He read my blog and liked a couple of entries, especially the ones on 'Awareness'.

We were exchanging messages as he didn't have a gay profile and was still very much closeted. He was talking to me from his straight profile. He intended to stay that way because his father is an extremely homophobic person and he was pretty darn sure that if he ever came out, he is going to be disowned. He was a little older than me, 25 years old. I kind of felt sorry for him but it wasn't my place to say anything.

Oct 26, 2010

I See Evil

In this never-ending drama we call life, everyone has a part to play. Some are cast as romantic leads. Others end up playing victim. And a few provide comic relief. But if the drama is to be really compelling, there must be a hero...and a villain.
- Mary Alice

Oct 22, 2010

Daddy Issues

There have been three things in my to-do list that I must absolutely accomplish and once I have accomplished them, I can die as a very happy man. They are as follows;
  1. Having a very successful career as a medical practitioner
  2. Becoming a culinary expert
  3. Raising a child 

Oct 18, 2010

Hands All Over

The room was perfect in the sense that I have always dreamed of owning a room like it. It screamed 'Man' so loud that you would go deaf. It wasn't dirty, besides the usual mess of books confined on the table and CDs strewn all over the computer table. There was no bed, instead two mattresses placed on top of one another. There was some sort of cushioned back support, a mother's touch I guess. Two giant ass pillows and a bed side table with a laptop resting over it, playing an episode of Seinfeld. Bruce loved to watch Seinfeld, he didn't like any of the other programs airing back then except for Prison Break. There was bookshelves on the wall housing his MBA books and a few pictures of his nephew. The walls were a pale shade of green, which was the only thing I disagreed with. I prefer hues of blue or a plain simple white. The coolest part was the closet built into the wall. I hate bumps coming in the wall of on-going walls. Built-in closets are amazing!

"So what do you think?", he asked.

Oct 16, 2010

The Cheesy Killer

I reached Bruce place around 4 in the afternoon. I had agreed to come over to his place the day he asked me to come over, but I considered multiple number of times to call and cancel on the plan. Another part of me wanted to simply not show up. Give no reason and completely ignore it, but that would have been too much. I got ready and left my place around 3.

As suspected, the journey took about an hour. Everybody seems to live so far away from my place; Bruce, Ryan, Nathan and just about everybody else. I had goose bumps all over my body as I drove. I tried relaxing myself with some anthems but images of hot heavy sex kept pushing through my brain. It was like the inside of my eyelids had been painted by some artist who specializes in Kama Sutra portraits. It was the weirdest experience ever, but perhaps it was because this would turn out to be my first ever experience with a guy. I won't deny and say that I wasn't excited, because I was. I was really very much excited. But at the exact same time I was scared in a total out of the body experience.

Oct 13, 2010

Not The Better Person

I cracked yesterday. I cracked really really bad. I had a rough day at college when I couldn't complete the assigned task in the time alloted to us and hence I didn't get any grade on it. But then nobody else got a grade either, nobody could complete the assignment. Our new instructing doctor is such an impossible person, he wanted us to take history, perform a physical examination, reach a differential diagnosis and counsel in 20 minutes. I'd seriously like him to take a go at that AND meet patient's satisfaction at the same time. For me, patient satisfaction is the most important thing. If the patient doesn't like how you treated him, he won't come around for a second time if anything goes wrong. The no-grade charade spoiled my entire mind set for the rest of the day. I was in the worst of the moods.

Oct 9, 2010

We Are Not Having Sex

"So where are we meeting next time?", Bruce asked.

"I don't know! I have my mids coming up so I don't think I'll be able to make time in the next few days!", I told him dejectedly. I didn't know what was going on his head but I knew he was planning something. He had that crooked smile of his that always conquered his face when he was being naughty. "Why? Did you have something specific planned?" I asked him. I was totally suspicious that something was brewing in his mind. I could smell it.

"My parents are going away this weekend to see my elder brother!", he told me. Were my eyes playing tricks or was he actually blushing?, I asked myself in amazement. He had the reputation of a playboy, having been with at least more than 50 guys before me. I didn't entirely believe it because I don't think anyone can get laid that easily - even with his good looks and suave demeanor.

Oct 7, 2010

Gotta Have Ryan

Ryan and I have been the best of friends for about 3 years and before that we were acquaintances for about 2 years. I never expected when I first met him that how much we would get involved into each other's lives and how much we have in common despite being as different as fire and water.

Ryan never struck to me as gay before he came out to me. Frankly speaking, I never expected running into a gay person in my college. I just didn't. I knew there were more like me but I doubted that fate would cross my paths with another one of us. Boy!, How much fate loves to play with me!

Oct 4, 2010

Then Queer, Now Free

Roll your eyes as much as you but I'm a huge Reality TV Whore. I thoroughly enjoy watching shows like American Idol, X Factor, Top Chef, Project Runway and even America's Next Top Model. Yes! I watch America's Next Top Model!

I know it's not the best thing to put out about myself but nobody said I have to be perfect. But yeah, I watch only America's Next Top Model. I don't bother with the Australian edition or the British version for that matter. I'm just crazy about the US of A. Besides I think Australian and British girls are abit of a snob types. They have got so many issues.

In the most recent cycle; that is cycle 15, there is an openly lesbian contestant Kayla Ferell. No, it's not that she's the first lesbian to ever appear on the show. There have been many through the cycles. There has even been a transsexual contestant, Isis King.

Oct 2, 2010

Bring The Change

When I was in my second year of A-Levels, there came a boy in the freshman batch who was instantly detected by my then nearly non-existent Gaydar. But the truth was, you really didn't need to have a Gaydar to realize that he was gay. You could have a single conversation with him or just observe him for sometime, and come to the very obvious conclusion. Everything about him screamed gay!

During those days, I myself was going through the inevitable process of soul-searching. Everything I had imagined for myself had been tossed into an unrecognizable mess by Alex. Even though I wasn't dreaming about Alex as much as I used to, I was still unclear as who I was. The only part that was clear to me was that I was attracted to men and even the thought of that scared the shit out of me. I would be lying if I denied that I hated myself for being what I am. I had labeled myself 'Freak'.

Sep 30, 2010

The Seven Swans

It's been about a month and a half since I started going to the gym. I'm really pleased with my progress, I dropped 3 kilos. Now I'm resting happily on 75 kilos. I won't lie and say it was really awesome to loose that little flab, but now that I have done it I feel like a completely new person. I know it's just 3 kilos, but to me those 3 kilos seem like 30 kilos. My friends have noticed the weight loss and have commended my efforts, especially Ryan and Gracie. They are really happy that I'm doing something about it. Gracie never really said anything but always thought it was unhealthy. Ryan being a complete fitness freak didn't like me being flabby at all.

Mom is pleased with the effort as well. Now she wants me to put some meat on the bones. As I stated earlier, I'm short when it comes to height. I'm 5'5. Not much to me, is there?! :p

Sep 27, 2010


I made a gay profile on Facebook recently after the advice from a friend that the gay crowd over there has much more class and since Facebook is more popular than Orkut, there is a wider selection of men who I would be able to eye to eye with. After some thinking, I went ahead and made an account.

Sep 25, 2010


The A-Levels crowd is believed to be a tad bit more mature compared to the O-Levels crowd as they are older and with the upcoming application submission process to various universities; Local and abroad, makes our going about the world sense alot more polished. We are given more assignments and also tougher assignments.

One of the assignments you get is to organize the A-Levels Bake Sale where our school raises money for charity. It's entirely in the hands of the students, but everything is done under the supervision of the counselor. Maybe that's the reason the kissing booth was never given the green light. LOL!

Since it's a school event and everything is going towards charity, we are encouraged to do as much as we can on our own. We had to hire sponsors, convince local restaurants to set up stalls, hire or arrange the entertainment and even set-up the event area ourselves. Some business have a nasty habit of charging a penny for every lift and let down, so we decided to arrange the area ourselves.

Sep 23, 2010

B*tches, I'm Back

And I can't wait to start posting again. I got so much stuff piled up that I want to post but I don't know where to begin. Those of you who have been reading my blog must have noticed there have been no new posts for a while. I posted last on 12th September, which was Gone And Back. My Internet connection got messed up on 13th so I couldn't come Online. We had been contacting the service guys every single day. They took freak'in 9 days to fix it!

Sep 12, 2010

Gone And Back

Yesterday it was the first day of Eid at our side. I had two of my cousins over from States where they live with their families and one of them just had a baby girl a few days back. The entire day was pretty much spent catering to guests that came. Mostly I knew them by face, but had absolutely no idea who they are. I kept asking my little sister who's got the most amazing memory of faces and names.

Much later in the day; that is around evening, the guests I knew in and out started showing up including the cousin who tried to get fresh with me once and got a kick in the balls. We avoid each other as much as possible, but I had to hug him yesterday. Ugh! Instead of the usual three hugs we do, I just did one. He didn't seem to mind either. Smart guy! 

Sep 10, 2010

Eid Mubarak

Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters!
After the blessed month of Ramadan, where I pray that the Almighty has accepted all our fasting, prayers and charities. I wish you all a very happy Eid!

Celebrate heartily with your friends and family, but don't forget the less fortunate who are missing out on this glorious day and be sure to include them in your celebration in whatever way possible. Let the spirit of Ramadan remain awake in you through out the entire year. 

Once again; Eid Mubarak!!!

Sep 9, 2010

My Masterpiece

I'm a dreamer. I always have been and I don't think I'm going to stop anytime soon. Ever since I was a child, I had pictured how I wanted to do things in my life.

Over the time, the dreams changed. The most notable change is possibly the fact that I started to picture myself with someone. Over time, this someone turned out to be a boy. But what boy?, was another question that needed to be answered.

Sep 7, 2010

Good-Bye, My Lover!

After not talking for two whole days on the basis of a mutual decision, we finally had a conversation last night and we are no longer in a relation. Fortunately it was not a messy break up. No screaming, cursing, threatening or any other kind of verbal abuse. Unfortunately it still hurts like hell. Maybe even more!

The purpose for which we took a time-out was to collect our thoughts about the issues we are facing regarding the other person and then we would have a sit-down to sort them out. Once we did sat down to sort them out, they proved to be too much for both of us. Neither of us wanted the break up and at some place in our hearts, we felt it's a very wrong decision.

Sep 6, 2010

I Miss Him

I miss him! I am missing him bad. Really bad! We have been having some issues and we are trying to sort them out. We decided on Friday that we won't be talking for two days, Saturday and Sunday.

Today is Sunday.  Today is the last day of the silence and tomorrow we would talk again. I can't wait. I want to talk to him right now. Right at this moment, but that would be against what we have planned. I have been kind of drooping all day and missing him. I tried not to bolt myself in the room because that would raise mum's antennas and she would be all inquisitive. I've been listening to crazy songs all day. Well not all day, I started listening to the songs right after opening my fast at Iftaar (Iftaar is when we have food after avoiding it since a little before sunrise). The funny thing is that the following songs have gone up about 10 to 20 numbers in my iTunes 'Most Played' list. I guess it really doesn't take a genius to know how I am feeling right now!

Sep 3, 2010


"What did he just say?", I asked the very good looking boy sitting next to me during the Physics class. It was my first official day of A-Levels. This was my very first class, and here I was already crushing on one of the boys. Let's call him Alex!

Aug 25, 2010

Issues; Emotional Blackmail

Hey Phunk!

My boyfriend is acting kind of weird these days. Actually he's been acting weird ever since we have started arguing. Our arguing has gotten worse over the period of last few weeks and his recent doings don't give me any hope of things getting better between us. He's not fasting these days. His reason for not fasting is that he's too upset nowadays because of all that's happening between us. I'm confused about what to do with him. Hopefully you can give me some suggestion to sort things out with him. I do like him alot but this attitude of his isn't helping at all! 

Aug 23, 2010


Sometime around January this year, I ran into this fellow on Orkut who turned out to be from my college. But that detail came much later than usual. It started off like usual, random talks and getting to know each other better. He made a comment that I had quite a large number of scraps and proceeded to ask me how long I have been on this profile; Scraps are like wall messages on Facebook, anyone can see them!

I told him about 2 years, give or take a few months. He followed that up with a couple of more questions if I am on any other gay social networking sites. I replied in negative. He then asked if I had a boyfriend, which I also replied in negative. This was all in the same month, I was single during those days. Our talks were primarily gay themed, though nothing sexual. He's 19 years old and I have absolutely no interest in younger men. Sure, I may admire them from a distance but it would be a very strange day if I make a move. So everything from my side was entirely platonic. There was definitely something from his side but I couldn't quite place my finger on what it was. I believe it was curiosity. His questionnaire was starting to irritate me, so I tried to shift our talks to other topics.

Aug 20, 2010

Identity Crisis

Being closeted means you intend to keep you being gay a secret from the society. We tend to regard our privacy very highly. Some of us keep it so close-guarded that we draw a clear line that distinguishes the two identities completely, revealing it to a selected few only. Violation of this strict code leads to a crisis, an identity crisis

Aug 17, 2010


After putting it off for about a year or two, I have finally joined the gym. Yay me! I decided this is the perfect time for me to start, because I need something to distract me from the biting loneliness inside me. Also I really wanted to do it. I'm sick of being chubby, oh what the heck! Why not say it out-right?!

I'm sick of being fat! I'm not kidding when I said chubby, but 'chubby' is just a nice way of saying that someone is over-weight. Nathan keeps arguing that I'm not fat and then cites examples of some people he knows. But still that's no reason to remain in this unhealthy position. I can't keep delaying it. I can always come up with an excuse if I don't want to do it. But in truth, there is no excuse. Just my laziness! So I pushed myself and signed up.

Aug 13, 2010

Oy Vey

I was catching up with an old friend yesterday.We were talking after about five months, so he had absolutely no idea that I was seeing someone. He was surprised when I ran this detail across him which lead him to asking some other stuff. As the discussion progressed, it reached the topic of getting intimate. He wanted to know the details, but obviously that wasn't something up for sharing. No, I didn't blow him like I did with the last guy who asked me the same question. Plus I've known him since about two years and we do have a conversation every now and then. Also he's just 16 so I really didn't feel like biting his head off. He's a super nice kid!

When I declined splurging the details, he proceeded to ask me how I felt about it. Now that was something I could tell, so I did. It felt great! Best thing in the world! A high like no other! A roller-coaster ride I would never get sick of! A ticket that would put Mr. Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket to shame!, and similar sorts. As I was telling him about it, I added that it was my first time as well and that it couldn't have gone any better.

Aug 11, 2010

Ramadan Mubarak

Ramadan Mubarak to all of my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters! 
May all our prayers and fasting be accepted in this blessed month!

I'm apologize in advance for the decrease in the postings that would be noticed in the coming few days. I'm going to try to post as I usually do. But in case I am not able to, keep this in mind!

Once again; Ramadan Mubarak!!!

Not There Yet

It's been about 48 hours since he's left and it feels so weird. He's back home which is great for him, but it kind of sucks. LOL! I guess a little bit of the monster still lurks inside me. However the stalking has yet to start, so I think I'm holding up really well.

I always knew that at some point he would be leaving for his country and I won't be seeing him for a year. I had completely over-looked the fact that it may not happen like I had pictured it. I didn't have the thought in my mind that something or the other may go horribly wrong, which is exactly what happened during the last few days of his stay.

Aug 9, 2010

Monster Boyfriend

Towards the end of his stay, Nathan and I couldn't manage to meet as often as we wanted to. He had some things going on in his family that required his immediate attention, thankfully the situation got resolved before he left. I was busy in my cousin's wedding, being one of the few able young men around and the only one of these young men on vacations, I was taking somebody or the other shopping almost every other day. We both were absolutely hating it but we couldn't do anything about. Bless text messaging, otherwise I seriously don't know how we would have managed.

Later on, Nathan's stay got extended and we had 5 more days where I won't have a wedding to worry about and Nathan was free as well. However things didn't go as planned because in those 5 days violence erupted in Karachi bringing everything to a halt and when the violence subsided it rained on our parade...literally!

Aug 8, 2010

Dream a Little, Dream of Me

At moments when I have nothing to do, I find myself dreaming. One of the particular thoughts that cross my mind are of Nathan. I find myself dreaming about him all too often and all too much. In fact, I think I dream more about him now more than I did when it all started. Perhaps that has to do with him reciprocating my feelings and giving me positive signals that he too wants something permanent with me.

Aug 6, 2010

Being Pakistani

I'm from Pakistan. I'm a Pakistani and I happen to be gay. Starting on the March 6th, I have posted exactly 54 times and everytime I have discussed something gay. So far, there hasn't been a single post about being a Pakistan, but all that changes now. All that changes with this post, right here!

I thought alot about whether I should post about the current crisis in Pakistan. The situation of Karachi has gone from bad to worse, and few expects things to get even worse in the coming days if the problem isn't resolved immediately. My posting is going to be one of the million out there, but it's something I am supposed to do. It's my duty. Till now the blog has solely revolved around me and a few other selected people whom I consider important. But this post isn't just about me, it's about the whole nation. If I am incorrect on any account, by all means set me right. So here we go!

Aug 2, 2010

Bang Bang Bang

The WWW has it's abundance of jerks. Step in and you find all shapes and sizes. Young jerks, old jerks! Fat jerks, thin jerks! Ugly jerks, handsome jerks! Weird jerks and the really weird jerks! Dealing with them is tough business and there is no clear way, give them a hand and they want a whole arm. Not pleasant at all!

Butting heads with them repeatedly is not only frustrating but also very draining. You can either deal with them by knocking sense into these fools or you can simply turn the other cheek and move on. If you choose to deal with them, after sometime your Jerk Radar goes haywire. You become so sick and tired of these weirdos that you tend to avoid them at all cost. That's what I have become; A person who avoids!

Jul 30, 2010

That Nagging Thought

Ryan called really late Wednesday night. "Dude, it's 3 am in the night! Couldn't you call me in the day?", I asked.

"It's 2 pm! I just got up! Everybody's gone and I'm freak'in hungry!", he said. "You know how to make anything?", he asks.

"Ryan, seriously not in the mood to joke right now!", I growl.

"Is it because I called up so late or something else?", he asks.

Jul 27, 2010

All The Lovers ( And Haters)

I got my first negative comment a few posts ago. I felt like I'm in one of those crime-action flicks where the authorities have accused a person of something he hasn't done and are trying to extract the confessions that doesn't exist by dousing him in cold water.

Jul 25, 2010


I really don't consider myself to be a looker. So when somebody tells me that they have got a crush on me, all I can say in response is 'Seriously?'

Jul 22, 2010


"You really need to stop treating me like a child!", I told Bruce all of a sudden one day.

Bruce looked at me as he was driving the car. "Where did that come from so suddenly?", he asked.

"Where did that come from?!", I retorted. "You don't let me do anything! I feel as if I'm being taken out by an older cousin rather than my boyfriend!"

"Do you earn?", he asks all of a sudden in a serious but slightly challenging tone.

"Do you really think I would be earning?", I say answering his question with my own question. I was dreading having this conversation but dating seemed more of a chore to me rather than a pleasure cruise.

"Aren't there child labor laws in Pakistan?", Bruce poked.

"Bruce!", I exploded. "I'm 19 for Pete's sake!"

"I was kidding!", he explained. "But seriously, you don't earn so how do you expect to treat both of us?" he pointed out.

"Whatever! I feel so weird that every time we go out, you pay for just about everything and it's getting on my nerves! More over, I can't relax. It feels so weird and also quite wrong!", I complained. "At least let me pay for what I order!" I suggested.

"But that's what friends do! They pay for what they order!", he replied. "Also I think that's really cheap and not classy at all!" he added.

"Your such a hard-head! It's unbelievable!", I ask him quite seriously.

"And your such a child!", he replied.

Jul 19, 2010

Trust Factor

Trust is important! Trust is necessary! Trust is the basic foundation of any long lasting bond, whether it is between lovers, friends, a child and his/her parents or even between an animal and it's owner. Trust ensures when things go from good to bad, we can go to the individual at the other end of the bond and find him there. Trust is hard to find, especially at a place when everybody is speaking behind a veil of anonymity.

The WWW has become one of the largest patron of the gay community, it has made everything so easier. From hooking up to buying porn to finding the right one. Gays from all corner are turning to the online world everyday for many different reasons. Whatever their reason maybe, everybody manages to find a good friend to turn to. You can talk all you want but when the time comes to get things heart-to-heart, would you open to just anyone? Would you just go ahead and give anyone your details? Your Facebook profile? The 411 on you?

Put Your Arms Around Me

"I've got something to tell you and I don't know how you will feel about it!", Nathan said to me quietly a few day ago as we were strolling the mall.

"Well, I myself don't know how I will feel about it until you tell me whatever it is!", I told him calmly. I was slightly scared as to what this is going to lead to.

Jul 16, 2010

Bad Track Record

Nathan and I were talking about crushes today. It came as quite a surprise to me that Nathan really doesn't have that many crushes. I, on the other hand, have numerous crushes that have come and gone faster than I could imagine. The thing that I was somewhat scared that this conversation would lead to, happened. The common pattern I've seen in the people that have become important to me in my life is that at some point I had a crush on all of them. I have had a crush on Ryan, Christian, Gracie, Bruce and even Nathan at some point since I got to know them first. Some happened on sight and others happened once I got to know the people better but all ended at some point or the other to transform into something deeper.

Jul 13, 2010

Pocketful Of Sunshine

If you kiss someone with feeling...they know it...and you know's's like everything else goes grey and you're the only two left in the whole world!
- Marc St. James

Jul 11, 2010

Karma Or Something Else

Yesterday Nathan and I were talking as usual and strangely we ran out of topics. "Is it because we talk too much?", he asked.

"I don't think so!", I told him. "Your mind seems to be pre-occupied with the earlier events.", I added. Nathan's past two days have been extremely busy and crowded with family matters. His aunt had come with her family for a stay-over and Nathan's cousins weren't leaving his side. He had apologized repeatedly for not being able to pay any attention to me. But it wasn't an issue, I knew we can't exchange messages all the time. "Since your totally out of topics, I'd like to ask you something that has been on my mind since the past few days!"

Jul 10, 2010

Third Time's a Charm

As I got ready for our third date, I couldn't help but keep on thinking about the phrase that goes something like third time's a charm. Would this rendezvous result in something more or be any different from the previous two?, I didn't know. But you can bet your pretty pink hankies that I was so cranked up for it. I would be taking my ride and that was the major factor that had me so excited. Nathan in my car, at my mercy; something like that!

Last time I was committed it was with Bruce, he used to bring his ride all the time and there was a constant fear of not putting even a scratch on it. I didn't even want to nibble on something in the car fearing that I'd get crumbs on it or spill something and leave a nasty stain. It's not like I don't take care of my car but Bruce was super possessive about his ride and I took it without him saying that his ride is not to be messed with. The ride to the place where I was supposed to pick up Nathan from was lonely. I wanted to crank up the radio and go wild, but this was the first time I was going so far all on my own. So I wanted to concentrate on the road, drive carefully and get there with plenty of time on my hand, and I was successful. Also I was taking the car, I had taken the car I was specifically instructed not to. LOL!

Jul 7, 2010

So Today Sucked

7th of July was supposed to go great! 7th of July was supposed to be amazing! 7th of July was supposed to be an epic day! 7th of July was supposed to be memorable! 7th of July wasn't epic, amazing or even great. But yes, it was memorable. But not in the way I wanted it to be!

Jul 5, 2010


Today I'll be introducing another very important person in my life, and this time it's not a male. Yes, it's a female! And no, it's not my mother! Ladies and Gentleman, I present GRACIE!! Starting off as an acquaintance, then moving on to a friend, then a best-friend. There were rumors along somewhere that we were going steady, but that was never the case. At some point I did develop feelings for her, but they didn't turn out to be fruitful as I expected. And now we're back to being best friends. It's a twisty topsy turvy ride, that I'm sure isn't going to get smoother anytime soon. But since when did I expect life to get smoother? If there's one thing that I've learned in the past 22 years, it's that life can be more drama than anybody could expect it to be!

Jul 3, 2010

Leveling Up

Those of you who have been reading my blog since the past few months must already be aware of the fact that Nathan lives in another country. He's a Pakistani but lives elsewhere. And those of you who didn't, well now you do! And regardless of whether you have been reading my blog or not, you would know that the relation has been a Long Distance Relationship a.k.a LDR!

Jun 30, 2010

Nathan and the City

This post is going to be even longer than the previous one, so please bear with me. I'm going to try and make it as short as possible without skipping any details. So if you are interested in knowing how the second date went, I suggest that you read on.

Jun 29, 2010

The Story of 20 Toes Told in 20 Minutes

A friend of mine from Orkut shared this with me and I thought I would share it with you all!

Jun 28, 2010

Lights, Camera, Action!

This post was supposed to go up yesterday but I couldn't find time to write it down till now. It took three sitting for me to complete it, but I finally managed. So here's it, guys. Nathan and my first date together, as a real-time couple.


Jun 26, 2010

Cold Sweat

This post was supposed to go up yesterday but my Internet was working like my country's government; Absolutely pathetic! It was taking ages to load even the simplest pages and I was completely hating it. I can't remember the last time my net was functioning so bad and I realized yesterday how much I am dependent on the Internet. I think Internet deserves a place right along with Clothes, Food and Home in the present age.

Anyhow so this posts was about the first date and the anxieties and apprehensions that go with it. I've been out of the dating game since last October. Even though I've known Nathan since February and I've talked just about any topic you can think of under the sun, but still I felt like a 40 year old divorcee going on a date. Is that weird?

Jun 22, 2010

Two More Lonely People

How could I say no to that, I'd have to be a real jerk to reject his friendship. He was clearly a nice guy and maybe we did make a wrong move by getting committed. Just because most of his interests were same as mine, it didn't necessarily mean that we could be together. But being friends with an ex, I'm not comfortable with the idea. At all!

The last time I tried that, I didn't turn out really well. I ran face first into a wall and crumbled to a million pieces. That guy ended our friendship claiming that he's doing it for my own good and that's it not healthy because I still have feelings for him. I'll be posting about him sometime later perhaps, but ever since then the idea of being friends with an ex doesn't have me jumping up and down with joy. "Friends?", I asked skeptically and slightly in surprise.

Jun 17, 2010


Before I made my Phunk Factor profile on Orkut, I had another gay profile on Orkut. I had made it when I was 16 and on my summer break, completely out of boredom. The profile didn't last very long, possibly 8 months at most. Through that profile I had my first little taste of the gay community on Orkut.

The results weren't that appealing frankly speaking. Everyone was asking for my stats and cell number. The funny thing is, I was so naive that I had absolutely no idea what are stats and I used to share my sister's cell phone so I couldn't give out my number. Although the idea of hooking up did fascinate me but I needed to trust the other person. But that wasn't happening. Everyone wanted quick service. It's my ass, you moron! I need to trust you before I let you even touch it once!

Jun 15, 2010


Yesterday Nathan got done with his exam, and I can very honestly say that I was just as glad as him for them getting over. It's been days since we had talked over on yahoo messenger. It's not like we were not in touch, but exchanging 'Good Morning' and 'Good Night' messages just doesn't compare to talking for a good three to four hours in a row about everything under the sun.

From 10 pm to 2 am, we were talking. Nathan was online from his laptop and I was online from my cell. I have two cell phones. One is not at all flashy that I basically take with me everytime I go out, after having two awesome cells taken from me at gun-point, I really didn't feel safe carrying around a flashy one with me everyday. So anyhow I have two cells, the flashy one stays at home and that's the one I use to talk to Nathan. It's always pumped with bucket loads of credit and even if I have credit in it, I put more in. I never ever want to be caught dead without credit in my flashy cell. The flashy cell also happens to be a touch screen one, and having not used it much before I totally lost the feel of it. My speed of texting was so freak'in slow yesterday, LOL...I need to brush up fast. Nathan freaks out very easily when I reply late!

Jun 13, 2010

Life Is Beautiful!

When you've had your heart broken really hard, you really don't look forward to getting into a relationship. You loose faith in them. You loose faith in yourself. You loose, as simple as that. You hit the ground and you hit it hard. When you get back on your feet, you start preparing yourself to be comfortably single!
Nathan wasn't looking for anything when he joined Orkut. What he desired was entirely platonic, from start to finish. Not even remotely slipping outside the borders of that quality, that is what Nathan wanted for himself. But as he says, life had something else planned and I made an unsuspected landing onto the runway of his heart. Confused?, read about it here and here.

Jun 7, 2010

Want U Bad

So the last couple of days have been crazy. My exams got over on Friday and they went kind of okay. I'm not entirely ecstatic about them, because I personally feel that I didn't study as much as I should have. So yeah, that's the thing about exams. Somebody once told me that giving an exam and being in love is nearly the same thing. What makes them from being exactly the same?

Well, when your in love you've got alot on your mind but you don't know how to say it. But when you're giving an exam, you got nothing on your mind but you still have to say something. Crazy, right?

Jun 5, 2010

See U Smile

Last night I was talking to one of my friends from Orkut and he told me about how he recently broke up with his boyfriend of 7 months. It's not like he was whining or complaining about him, he just wanted to get through this 'getting over' phase as soon as possible. The two broke up on the account that the other guy didn't see this as a long-term venture and he felt it was more like 'Friends with Exclusive Benefits'. He said that it wasn't fair for my friend, who was looking for something serious and long-term. Also the fact that the other gay was getting engaged next month had a fair role to play in the break up.

For the time being the two had decided to be friends and obviously, my friend was told that there is a pretty good chance that he won't be invited to the engagement because it might be too much for him. But he is invited to the after party. Anyhow so basically we were talking about getting over and how it goes about.

May 30, 2010

Men In Uniform

It's no secret that we all like men in uniform. Everybody looks up to a man in a uniform. We, the gays, like looking up to them in our special own way. But occasionally it's even more fun to have a light hearted poke at this subject.

May 28, 2010

Yo! Listen Up!

One of the best things about being with Nathan is that we have alot of things in common. He likes Grey's Anatomy. I like Grey's Anatomy. He loves kids. I love kids. He likes pets. I like pets. He likes dick more than pussy, and so do I. LOL!!

Our list goes on for a few more lines but I need to make this really quick. Our latest addition to our list is that we're both BLOGGERS!

May 25, 2010

Heavenly Bodies

A big part of being me is being campy, trashy, cheesy and completely inappropriate. I'm not saying these qualities are something I'm proud of, but mixed together they constitute what I am. It's like pickles and pregnancy. You don't like pickles 'cuz they leave that bitter taste in your mouth and you definitely don't like pregnancy 'cuz they drive the last ounce of sensibility out of women. But together, they're awesome. Give a pregnant woman a jar of pickles and you shut her up instantly. Not that most of you would need to shut up a pregnant lady, but still make sure to give Phunky a pat on the back when this proves successful.

May 23, 2010

I Don't Like You

I don't like you. I don't like you at all. Infact right now, I'm pretty much on the border-line of hating you. I know that me hating you won't be something really major for you. It clearly shows that your going on about your life as you normally would. While it may not be visible in front of those buttons you call eyes, but my friend happens to be going through a frigg'in heart-break. Yeah, I'm talking about the same one you broke up with a few days ago. And yes, he's the same one who you went back to get together with again after you had rejected him once based on how he looks. Who does that?!

May 14, 2010

Ex! Why?

The day before I rammed my car into the bus (Read; Here), Nathan and I had probably one of the weirdest conversations yet. We talked about how our relations were with Ex, which lead to alot of details being exchanged and eventually an exchange of pics as well. I showed him Bruce and he showed me a certain guy he had developed feelings for, but could never express them in fear of being ridiculed.

A little background on Fabio. He was older than Nathan, about a year or two I guess. He worked at a place right across where Nathan used to work. He always used to look at Nathan and smile alot. They never really took the time to talk but just the casual hello-hi-wassup kind of talks took place. This guy used to stare at Nathan, which aroused Nathan's curiousity. Soon enough Nathan started looking back at him, and sort of had feelings for him, as I mentioned earlier. And like I also mentioned previously, he didn't express them. But it really didn't go well, especially later on when Nathan packed himself and stopped responding. He stopped talking to Nathan, not even casual smiling anymore. Later on he switched jobs and that crushed Nathan some-what. But he got better eventually. Infact he not only got better, he also got stronger. Alot stronger!

May 11, 2010

Phunk, Am I Gay?

God loves to humiliate me! Things I decide I will not be doing, I find myself doing those very things a few days later. Last week I noticed two Justin Bieber posts on blogs I follow. You can check them out here and here. While I was reading the posts, I thought to myself that I would never ever post about Justin Bieber. But guess what?

Here I am, posting about Justin Bieber. Like I said, God loves to humiliate me.

May 8, 2010

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

Many of you are probably aware that my exams are up next week( Though that doesn't seem from how frequently I'm blogging LOL ), anyhow exams means no fun. No fun means no romance. No romance means no Nathan. And no Nathan basically means *ML!

I told Nathan about that the past Thursday and he wasn't happy about it at all. But he understood that it was something that needed to be done after I explained that I'm not freaking out.

You see on Wednesday, I dared to nudge a certain topic had been bugging me since the past few days; Safe Sex! I didn't have the nerve to bring it up. Talking about sex is really awkward, especially if your chatting through some messenger. When you type what you say, there is no voice pattern or facial expression involved. People can read your sentences wrong and there can be a whole lot of confusion, but it's something that had to be done. With Bruce, I had initiated the conversation as well. Even though that was on his face, the wasn't any less awkward.

May 6, 2010

Learn Chinese in 10 Minutes

I was at my university today filling out a completely new blank Examination Form because my awesome university misplaced the form I had submitted on Tuesday. Thank God Ryan saw my name pending on the 'Not Submitted' list and asked me as to why I haven't. I take such things very seriously and do them as soon as possible. Living in Pakistan, you need to ready for anything to happen at any moment. So it's best to do wrap up important stuff as soon as possible.

Ryan had submitted his form yesterday and just tagged along today to get the 411 on how my studies are going and also to ask if I will explain to him a few things. We're standing in the line and he is boasting how I should do things on time like he does. Bleh! And then suddenly he says, "I was bored yesterday so I learned chinese!"

May 5, 2010

Friends, Lovers Or Nothing

The mall was decently crowded for a Tuesday afternoon. I had gone straight from my college, so wasn't really looking my best. I had washed my face and sprayed on a fresh layer of deo that I always carry in my bag. As long as I looked and smelled relatively fresh, it was fine by me. He was already there. Good! I would have screamed bloody murder if he had kept me waiting.

It's funny how much things had changed. A few weeks ago we met at the same place and we had a ball. We laughed, we talked, we bitched, we ate and by the time the night ended, we had even kissed. Isn't it funny how things turned out to be?. I couldn't help but think about it, and laugh.

Apr 30, 2010

The Power of Madonna

Madonna..simply saying the word aloud makes me feel powerful, even in voice over. How I have worshipped her ever since I was a little girl!

Sorry Angie Jo Lee! Katherine, the Great! Madonna is the most powerful woman to ever walk the face of the Earth!

Apr 25, 2010

Gay Little Brother

In the ever growing world of blogs, rarely there comes a blog so unique that it makes you stop and take notice. One of the blogs I was following put up a notice of a very interesting blog. And from that link I stumbled on this very interesting blog called Gay Little Brother. Interesting in the sense that, it's owned by a straight kid with a younger gay brother. It's brand spanking new and really there has been just one post, that too just yesterday, April 24th.

Apr 20, 2010

Fallin' For You

Getting to know him was obviously alot easier than actually coming forward and telling him, 'Hey! I like you! Yes, I like you! I like you more than a friend!'. Everytime I used to think about it, my throat was shut down and more so, I kept thinking that he would think I'm playing some stupid prank on him. You see, quite often when we chatted I would say something completely bogus and very horny that shocked him really bad. I like to think of it as being able to rock his world, even before getting him in bed. Lol!

But yes, that's how my mind was functioning. He's going to freak out! He's going to stop talking! He's going to freeze up! All this made me wonder if telling him was the right thing to least at this moment. I felt that we had just started getting to know each other on a personal level. Also given that I felt I had jumped too early and much too eagerly into the whole relationship business with Bruce. My mind understood that I had to take it slow, but my heart is such a stubborn b*tch. I didn't care at all about taking slow and easing him in.

Apr 17, 2010


esterday was a whirlwind of happenings and just about nothing went how I wanted. I had self-imposed a period of silence so that I could study for my up-coming exams and I was mad at myself for doing so. I woke up feeling angry. I remember spending a good number of minutes staring at my face in the bathroom wall as if just making sure that it was going to get a mind of it's own any moment now and start chanting,  "You're stupid! You're stupid! You know're stupid!"

Things were pretty normal then till I got the Good Morning text from him. Lonely boy had woken up with a heavy heart, didn't know if that was because he won't be able to talk to me anymore or because he ran into his ex yesterday. I didn't have enough credit on me, so I waited till I get home. I wanted to call him up. I was even more mad at myself and the silence now. I just wanted to get home as soon as possible and talk to him. I was so furious that I rammed my poor car into a bus. 

Apr 16, 2010

Prince Charming

I have my exams next month from the 15th and I feel like I'm totally unprepared for them. And I probably am! Pharmacology has me on the verge of breaking down in tears, Microbiology is making me pull out my hair, Immunology is sucking the life out of me and Forensic is literally destroying me with all the laws and techniques. I'm surprised that the men in the white coat haven't come for me yet. If any one of you happen to send them, make sure they're hotter than the Sahara Desert!

Apr 13, 2010

There He Was...

It all started off with a topic he had posted in a forum. His thread stood out like a cat at the dog show. The forum, is literally, littered with threads about hooking-up and bootie calls. This boy here, had created a topic about gay friendships, relationships and how sex affects this whole already very complicated deal.

A frequent visitor to the same forum, I thoroughly enjoyed reading and laughing at the desperate people who had posted there. It wasn't the spelling mistakes and bad grammar that got my stomach in knots, but how unrealistic people actually were. Claiming to be armored with big penises, amazing behinds and staminas of lions. It's a good thing people don't need to know IQ points for hooking up. And they weren't entirely lying about being huge dicks and great asses, if you know what I mean.

Apr 10, 2010

Sexy Show Delivers Sexy Men!!

I'm sure you all must be aware of Glee, the hottest TV series to debut last fall. I'm absolutely crazy about it and can't wait for the series to start again. Coming Tuesday, they're doing a Madonna special. But I'm not here to talk about Glee. I'm here to talk about the HBO hit series, True Blood. I was completely convinced that HBO would never again be able to host something as spectacular as Sex and The City, and I'm so glad that they proved me wrong. True Blood is definitely one of the it things on the telly nowadays. One of the reasons I'm a huge fan, is because of the gorgeous male leads that they feature; they are a gay man's dream come true.

Apr 8, 2010

Your Love Is My Drug

Bruce is a gone goose! When did that happen?!

Quite a significant amount of time has passed since that has happened. That's right, I've been posting everything in retrospective. It wasn't a smooth break-up and certainly the break-up wasn't the end of the drama that was to follow. Nor in anyway an inclination of the mess I was getting myself into. But I can't post one dark post after another, so I have decided to give you a happy post for the time-being. The Bruce Saga is soon to follow and there are still some posts before I completely wrap him up.

Apr 4, 2010

You Keep Me Hangin' On

Pick a card! Any card! And get done with it!

I don't like it when I'm left wondering as to where I'm headed with somebody. I can't stand to see time getting wasted, every moment I think about where do I stand with him I'm just running around in circles in my head. And so, those moments go wasted. I could have been doing something better like studying Gram Positive Bacteria or watching Glee or listening to music or even jerking off.

Yeah, I pretty much hate it when I'm left in the dark of the situation. It's not just in the dating business, but I'm also that way with my class assignments and my syllabus. Having been born to extremely professional parents, I have been raised to do tasks methodically. I function this way. I agree that I can be a control freak, but I'm just as prone to cut loose when I'm told to do so.

Apr 2, 2010

Young Love

Ugly Betty has always been one of my all-time favorite shows to watch. The cast, the chemistry, the energy, the one-liners, the settings, the cameos, the concept..everything is just so darn appealing! I didn't watch the first season or the second one for the matter, but started watching it from the third season. One of my friends got me hooked on to it. I got him to watch Gossip Girl and he got me to watch Ugly Betty. Needless to say, we both got addicted to the suggestions.

Mar 30, 2010

Ricky Martin Is No Longer In!

When it comes to musicians who have crossed over from their native language; Latin, to mainstream English. There are only three major names that come to my mind. The style icon Jennifer Lopez, the extremely sexy Enrique Iglesias and the hunky daddy Ricky Martin.

Speaking of Ricky Martin, the 38 year old Latin-American pop artist from Puerto Rico just came out of the closet today, on 29th March 2010. I can't say that I'm shocked because there have been rumors circulating since 2000 about his sexuality. When asked if he was gay or not, 29 year old Martin remained silent. Almost ten years later, the man has decided it's time the world stops speculating and gets it's just desserts. The reason I am really shocked is because,  a man of his position and influence dared to take such a bold step.

Mar 27, 2010

World Wide Wanks

While I may be a new-born babe in the blogging world, having only recently become a part of the publishing side. I have been around for almost 2 and a half years in the Gay Circles of Social Networking.

Under the alias of Phunk Factor, I have maintained an Orkut profile since October 2007. I have encountered many people and some of them are now my very dear friends. You are probably aware of one of them, Crazy Sam. With this selected bunch who I have gotten close with are in knowledge of my identity. They know my name, where and what do I study, the city I live in, how do I look, my contact information; basically the 411 on me.

Even though most of them aren't in Pakistan, I have had the pleasure of talking to them over the phone and have cam sessions with them. Not the naughty kind, mind you. I have this crazy fear that somebody might record whatever I do and use it to blackmail me. Lol, I know that's really stupid of me!

Mar 26, 2010

Katherine Kisses A Girl

Now I don't know how many of you are following the current season of Desperate Housewives. Those of you who aren't aware, they are airing the sixth season. My feelings towards it are kind of meh, while the season did start with a power punch. But lately it seems to be loosing steam. Since Season 4, Dana Delany who plays the role of Katherine Mayfair, has earned a permanent spot on the cast. With the death of Nicole Sheridan's character; Edie, last season Dana was supposed to get the spot light treatment in the current one. But her storyline is anything but interesting in the recent episodes.

The producers have her going down Lesbian lanes with the the ex-stripper Robin Gallagher. While I do get that sometimes people attempt to try out the chemistry dynamics with members of the same-sex. Despite having absolutely no history of attractions towards members of the same sex. It is such a weak and frail storyline for someone who has the star-billing. I'm not surprised that Dana is quitting after this season. You can catch the start of this saga below;

Mar 23, 2010


I'm constantly surrounded by a multitude of people who happen to love me and care for me, some family and some friends. Occasionally there will also be a boyfriend. These people have always been there for me to help me, support me, knock sense into me and just simply give me the boost that makes me phunk. Some of them are aware of me being gay, some suspect and some are completely unaware. Time to time, I will be mentioning them. I don't want to just put the whole cast of Phunkrama in one post and over-whelm you guys.

It's not like they're alot. But each and everyone is a character in their own right and I cherish them all. As mentioned, I will be introducing them from time to time; in no specific order. They will be coming as the incidences that mark the importance of them in my life are turned into posts. Today I'm going to be telling about a very close dear-friend of mine, I'd like you to call him Ryan. Anyone who is as good-looking as him, just has to be named 'Ryan'.

Mar 20, 2010

The Young Stupid Me

I was talking to one of my friends and we were talking about our crushes of long gone days and some recent ones as well. The whole point of the conversation was that how often our crushes make us act really stupid, and how often we don't realize it when it's actually going on. We are too blinded by whoever, or in some cases whatever, we happen to be crushing upon. Yes, dear readers, I have friends who have crushes on cars, wallets, branded clothes and cell phones.

Anyhow so my friend mentioned about him slipping love notes into his crush's shoes. And flashback!!

Fourteen years old of naughty innocence, standing in the balcony, utterly bored of having nothing to do during the vast summer vacations. I wasn't allowed to go swimming because one of my mother's friends told her how people pee in pools and nobody really bothers about it. While I too was eager to leave the swimming classes, my passion for swimming had not waned. I was literally begging mum to convert our garden into a swimming pool.

Mar 16, 2010

Doesn't Strike a Bell

Lady GaGa premiered the much anticipated music video of her second single Telephone from her sophomore effort; The Fame Monster, last Friday. The video is nine minutes of pure craziness and mayhem, and most of it is of the good kind.

Mar 14, 2010

Chasing Pavements

It's been weeks and there has been no contact at all. He came back from the wedding on 12th February, and since last Thursday it will be exactly a month since the period of silence. We could not manage to meet on 14th, he had to catch up on work. I did wonder how will it be possible on a Sunday, but didn't do any probing into the matter. So we didn't meet on V Day, but I did ring him up for a casual chat.

The call didn't last very long, hardly fifteen minutes at the most. I felt confused after putting the phone down. I kept wondering if I did something wrong. I remember him asking me if I would come to the airport when he lands, finding it a bit not possible to happen I told him not to. But he could meet me the same day or some time the day after. But this really isn't something that big to turn sour over. And I was kind of scared of meeting his family, which I had expressed freely. The age difference between us maybe of just two years, but I look considerably younger. This is not my opinion, but a general one. I wasn't allowed to attend clinics on my first day of third year, because the coordinator thought I was in first year and was bunking classes. Thank God my batch-mates convinced her, or she demanded seeing my result sheet before she would allow me.

Mar 7, 2010

A Quick Look

After wondering alot about whether I should begin by publishing the two posts I have already put up at Crazy Sam's Bloginess or if should start with a completely new post at my own spot, I have decided to go for the latter.

You can check my 'Built To Break?' and 'Zipped Lips, Sunken Hearts', and if you have not read them before then you can do now. And I would be thankful if you drop a comment, even if it's a simple 'holla' to my boy, Sammy.

I will be posting my first official post very soon. Keep tuned for that. Peace out!

Mar 6, 2010

Phunk Your Heart Out!

Hello there!

Doing good? Yes! Great! On towards business...err, decide!

So I'm guessing some of you maybe aware of me. I blogged for a very small while at Crazy Sam's spot, till it shut down for unexplained reasons. Those of you who are not aware of Sam, though I severely doubt there is anyone out there like that, you can view it here. However it may still take something more to shut me up, but till then I'll be phunking around.
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